After reading "The Mage in the Silver Mask" I had a lot of unanswered questions about D'Sparil. I'm glad this story sorted it all out. (athough now I'm curious to know more about this group he's a member of)
You're portrayal of Montork was just as I like to picture him. I really fet you gave him a good personality. The inner conflict in the characters was especially well written.
I wouldn't worry about posting it here. I've read much darker and more violent stuff here. Hell I've posted some of it myself! That's not in any way ment to put down you work I'm just saying I seriously doubt the mods would ban you just for posting a dark story. Unless maybe it was overly descrpitic and super super gory. Even then they'd probably just delete the psot and warn you not to do it again before banning. I mean Val's a cool guy.
(If you think your story's harsh wait till you read my upcoming story "Heir to Etheria")
Oh I finished my custom D'Sparil figure and posted a pic