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Thread: Friends, I need help...

  1. #1
    Heroic Warrior
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    Friends, I need help...

    My family,

    As you all know from a post awhile back, I've come to realize that I have literally no friends. I did some soul searching and went to see a psychiatrist who recommended that it would be in my benefit to attend a four week Intensive Inpatient Treatment Program so that they can work with me to get me healthy and happy.

    Years back I sold every single he-man item I owned (I'm sure some members here might still have some of those very items.) The problem is, besides my paying job (which if I enter this psychiatric rehab, I will not be getting paid whatsoever, I also don't have any collectibles left what-so-ever. It's sad that I posted an ad to try and get the new NES Classic for someone specials birthday, but besides that I'm flat broke. The total that I would need which would (pay my rent while I'm gone so that I have a home, pay the electric so that my home doesn't fluctuate in heat or cold, pay insurance payments on my apartment and finally pay the minimum due on a school loan so that I don't completely ruin my credit. All in All I'm trying to raise $2500.00 to cover all the costs associated with me being gone for four weeks.

    Given this information, and the fact that I have no friends, is it even wort attempting a Go Fund Me Page? I'm not the most popular guy, and my manic depression and bipolar disorder doesn't add anything productive to the discussion. I just wanted to get some feedback. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

    Respectfully,
    John

  2. #2
    Heroic Warrior He-bro's Avatar
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    I am confused, if you have no friends, who are we? And who is the someone special you want to get the NES for, wouldn't they also be a friend?

    I have experience in this very area as a have almost no friends, and I know how to get friends:

    1.) get out
    take a class
    Join a club
    Go to church
    Volunteer

    2.) Do not seek out friends, it will just happen. It will make you appear desperate, which scares away potential friends.
    3.) Don't look for friends in Bars, or Taverns.

    Many people do not have friends, but close acquaintances, and colleagues. If you go you're whole like and only have one close true friend, you have done better than most. Movies and media give us this idea that we should have close friends, but for most this will never happen.

    You must change your mind, don't talk bad about yourself in your head. When you think something negative, try to think about what make you unique, and special.

    I great book to help you is Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyers.

    I hope this helps.

  3. #3
    Color'licious! JVS3's Avatar
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    Like He-Bro said, we're your friends. Online friends but still friends!

    Meeting people is hard for a lot of us. Plus the older we get, the harder it seems. BUT, He-Bro gave some good suggestions! Plus there's sites like Meetup.com where you can find groups near where you live that get together to do things you might like. It's worth checking into.

    As far as the Go Fund Me, that's your call. I'd contribute if you start one. I can't give much, but I'd help.
    The problem with those is it's a temporary fix. And after you do it once, it's doubtful you can do it again. Go Fund Me is often a well, but you never know how much water is in it, and it typically goes dry after you draw from it the one time.

    For what it's worth, I sympathize on the money front. I'm out of pocket tens of thousands of dollars keeping this site going for nearly twenty years, I lost almost everything when CrossGen went bankrupt it it took me over 10 years to get everyone repaid, and I've lost tens of thousands putting on Power-Con. And I'll be selling the Classics I have subbed to since 2012 to raise some money to recoup what I can but will have very little to my name afterwards. Meanwhile I have people I had helped for years prior now running around online telling lies on me about money, when they are the ones that got paid and I have nothing. And it sucks.

    BUT, it's just money. It sucks that we need it to get by, especially with healthcare in the USA where people can easily be bankrupted by medical costs. The plus side is when you have nothing, you can then have everything. You're free, in a sense. Whatever little you get or build on is an accomplishment.

    So, while I know it's easier said than done, my advice is not to fret too much on the things you can't control. I say that based on experience.

    And as far as friends go, I say get out there and experiment with where to find them. You won't always find a connection. But you will eventually find some. Try not to let despair win.
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  4. #4
    Master of New Adventures!
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    I know money is important. But I would suggest the joys and friendships found here with countless other orgers.

  5. #5
    Heroic Warrior nicholighkun's Avatar
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    I'm going to say something that may not feel like much, and it won't be popular, but I stand by it with passion.

    You don't need a man with a plaque on his wall, bilking you for more money than what he's doing is worth. God can change everything. He heals, and He repairs the broken parts. It's really hard for me to articulate what God has done in my life, so I'll give you two things to read that give accounts for things that have happened in my life.

    First let me say that I've been a Christian my whole life, but during my early adulthood it was in name only. Several years ago, just before I began to take my faith very seriously, I was laying in bed, and this intense void of helplessness seemed to suddenly be suffocating me. I felt that all my friends had gone the way of family, taking wives and having kids, while I was at home, with no job, no passion for life, and a track record that had me convinced that I would die alone. All that in the context of seeing many, many years of life ahead of me with those facts to choke out all possible joy, made me feel a deeper, and truly emotional depression, like I've never felt before. I cried a lot. I mean I sobbed like a baby. I felt trapped, I felt alone, I felt like I've never truly belonged anywhere, and that I would never truly belong anywhere.

    A few months later, after having a conversation with some atheist friends about God, and feeling frustrated that I didn't have the answers to rebut their comments, I began to read the Bible. I read because I wanted to know the truth, not because I felt obligated to do so. God began to move in very real ways. This is where the links come in. Please read these before continuing with this comment. Don't worry, they're pretty short. These are only two of a very large number of similar incidents, and if you are interested in reading about more, I'd be more than happy to oblige. I may have shared these with you on the other thread of yours, because I know that I posted on it, but if so, I still recommend at least re-reading these two, if you've already read them.

    The Anointing - http://d.hatena.ne.jp/nicholighkun/20100105/1262710066

    The Spider Queen - http://d.hatena.ne.jp/nicholighkun/20150605/1433535260

    After reading to learn, I began to realize that what was missing in my self professed religion, was a true and accurate understanding of who God is. I saw God as a Moral judge, and as a creator, and that was about it. I wasn't familiar with God's nurturing and healing side, which is a highly prominent aspect of his personality.

    You are made in the image of God. He is your healer. He loves you, and He is the best friend you'll ever have. But if you try to cut and paste parts of who He is to suit your own desires, then you won't have the one true God, you'll have an idol. You have to want to know the truth.

    His healing is free, and you won't have to break your back trying to get on the docket.

    Like I said, I know this isn't popular, but I'm telling you God is real, and His Word is true. If you want to know your creator, it's really very simple. Read His book. In it you will learn that you are made in His image. You are a special creation, not an accident of biological chance. He loves you. He will draw near to you when you draw near to Him.

    I have a pretty good sense of how you feel, and I'm really going to be praying for you.

  6. #6
    Master of New Adventures!
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    I think it's true that we all have friends here in he-man.org and that they not only are okay with, but want to be called upon during our times of travail. I realize it's not the same as a face-to-face friend but in some ways it means even more because these are people we don't see every day who take an interest in us.

    It's well known that in The Tar Swamp forum I take strong positions regarding my personal and political views that are different from those of many orgers there and that there are times we engage in heated debate. But when, a few months ago, my young daughter sustained a severe bite from a poisonous brown recluse spider, I posted about my dismay. There followed an outpouring of empathy and well-wishes from many, including, to my great surprise, from several orgers who were ardent intellectual adversaries of mine in The Tar Swamp. The same was true when I asked prayers for my Alex when he was involved in a serious automobile accident and when he recently had four wisdom teeth pulled.

    Away from he-man.org, in the real world, I'm a private person and rarely share my concerns with others, even friends. Yet here on the board I feel I can do that. Part of it may come precisely from knowing I won't see orgers face-to-face and don't have to be reluctant or embarrassed about revealing some of my emotions face-to-face. Maybe it's because I feel I don't want to burden others and ask of other's time because of my problems. Whatever the reason, I've been able to share here on he-man.org, and I've gotten support and advice back during those few times I truly needed it. By any definition I can come up with, those orgers who give that kind of advice and support when I needed it are 'friends' in my book. And I feel the same about those in The Tar Swamp and in other forums on the board who engage me in philosophical or political debate, even those -- and probably especially those I disagree with -- so long as the disagreements are civil and respectful, because there are things to be learned from such discussions and because I find those discussions and debates to be stimulating, and that's a part of what friendship and friends are about too.

    I'm far, far from perfect, and I've sometimes made my mistakes here and in dealings with orgers. What I try to do when I make a mistake is to learn from it. And having that opportunity and learning that orgers are generally understanding about the errors of others is also what friends and friendship are about.

    My point is that he-man.org might be a good and often fun and sometimes even fulfilling place for you to begin your search for friends. Once you learn how to share what's happening in your life and chime in on what's happening in the lives of others, and get involved in discussions and debates, and care and find others care about you, you may find yourself developing the skills required to meet and make friends in your non-cyber life.

    It's said that to get a friend you have to be a friend. It's my opinion that he-man.org is a great place to practice that.

    Good luck and see...? You've already got people caring about your very first thread.
    Last edited by Heeeere's Olesker!; January 2, 2017 at 10:34am.

  7. #7
    Clown Prince of Darkness Benedict Judas Hel's Avatar
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    If you start a fund, I would contribute money. Far be it from me to deny help for someone who recognizes that they need help and is truly in need of it.
    "Wheresoever on earth he dwells, man is prey to two weaknesses: the need to pray and the need to love."-Marquis de Sade

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  9. #9
    Widget darkside's Avatar
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    Talk to your employer about short term disability. Granted it's not 100% of your total paycheck, varies by employer/carriers. I just had full rotator cuff surgery, was out 4 weeks and I still brought home about 70%.. That is always an option as I would venture to guess a Go Fund Me page will take a percentage also.

    Get yourself help man, been in your boat. Struggled with anxiety/depression for most of my life and as funny as it sounds forums like this help.

  10. #10
    Heroic Warrior MJOLNIR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by darkside View Post
    Talk to your employer about short term disability. Granted it's not 100% of your total paycheck, varies by employer/carriers. I just had full rotator cuff surgery, was out 4 weeks and I still brought home about 70%.. That is always an option as I would venture to guess a Go Fund Me page will take a percentage also.

    Get yourself help man, been in your boat. Struggled with anxiety/depression for most of my life and as funny as it sounds forums like this help.
    That's a great point.

    Also inquire at your work location about FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) it applies to yourself and anyone family residing with you. If your employer has more than 60 (double check that number) employees and you have been there for more than a year you'll be entitled to 12 weeks off without being disciplined for the absence at you job. FMLA will NOT get you paid while you are out but it will protect your job. It is a Federal law so it's constant from state to state. Your Dr. will have to sign off on some paper work (it's only few pages) and your job is obligated to provide you with the paperwork or have a site where you can download and print your own.

    Darkside is correct and that disability will vary from state to state and employer to employer. But I can't imagine that you'd get any less than half of your pay though and 4 weeks doesn't sound like that much time. Also there will be paper work for your Dr.

    Worst case scenario you can try for unemployment. That will also vary by state and I don't know what Florida's laws may be. I know here in NY you can get half pay.

    There should be Florida State websites that can direct you to you state's specifics on these 3 programs. I would absolutely advise you (and anyone here if wrestling with any on going mental or physical illness) to look into them. I have met so many honest, hardworking folks who are just not aware of the laws in place to help them as long as a Dr is going to back up the absence by filling out just a few pages of basic paperwork.

    I suffer from bi polar disorder myself. I have good days and days where I can't get out of bed. You are not alone. I have never used time off for it but if your DR is referring you or prescribing you 4 weeks of inpatient therapy that should satisfy any states requirements.
    Last edited by MJOLNIR; January 19, 2017 at 05:10pm.

  11. #11
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    Thanks for all the great ideas everyone, I contacted the EAP with my company, and besides some group therapy counseling sessions, there isn't much more than that they can do. In fact, the way they mentioned it was that I'd be more than likely no longer fit for my job if I go that route. So they threatened my employment without officially threatening my employment.

    It also seemed that my gofundme idea wasn't too popular either, so I guess theirs not much more left for me to do. So I guess that's that for me, I give up. Thanks to everyone for there kind words, I won't be bringing it up anymore, as it doesn't seem to be the kind of thing people want to read. So in any case, thanks everyone for what you could do and what you've said. Sorry for bothering everyone with my crap and you won't have to worry about any more of that. Good Journey my friends...

  12. #12
    Nature's Greatest Wonder Dynamo of Eternia's Avatar
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    Did you share the gofundme link on the forums here (I don't see one posted in this thread) or anywhere on social media (i.e. to friends on facebook)? Simply setting up a gofundme page and doing nothing further won't attract attention to it. The idea is that the link is shared with friends/acquaintances, even ones like others here on the .org who you may not have ever met in person, and then they share it further, and so on.

    I would happily contribute a few bucks to it, but nothing was posted here.
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  13. #13
    Heroic Warrior nicholighkun's Avatar
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    God's love is free.

  14. #14
    Color'licious! JVS3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mystical Musician View Post
    It also seemed that my gofundme idea wasn't too popular either, so I guess theirs not much more left for me to do. So I guess that's that for me, I give up. Thanks to everyone for there kind words, I won't be bringing it up anymore, as it doesn't seem to be the kind of thing people want to read. So in any case, thanks everyone for what you could do and what you've said. Sorry for bothering everyone with my crap and you won't have to worry about any more of that. Good Journey my friends...
    Multiple people, myself included, said they'd contribute. It was just a heads-up that GoFundMe is a temporary solution. There's a number of good, practical suggestions posted above that you may want to explore.
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    Heroic Daddy to Hermione! Uki's Avatar
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    Never give up; never surrender!

    I've been through some rough patches over the years too, and sometimes, things are pretty darn bleak, but know that we at the Org have your back, in many ways.
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  16. #16
    Heroic Warrior He-bro's Avatar
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    Don't do anything stupid!

    Things will get better. Your conversation sounds like your planning to do something stupid with your precious life.

    Most people who are saved from doing something like that always are grateful that they didn't follow through.

    I too suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts, but I also know the facts, so I let the thoughts come and go, and I know I'll have them but for me it's better than medication.

    The trick is not to dwell on them, help other people, realize that it's much bigger then just you, and pray!!!!!

    Whether you believe or not, crack open the Bible and read. (If you don't have one there are lots of free sites on line to read it from.)

    In 3 years from now this will be a distant memory, you are more than likely destine for great things, and the devil wants to stop you from doing what you are meant to do. That's why he is fighting so hard, fight for your life. If a mugger came up to beat and rob you, you would fight back, this is no different. FIGHT!!!! And stop listening to the voice in your head telling you you're not important. You are important, and that why they are fighting you, and putting thoughts into your head.

    FIGHT with all that you have!!!!

    Fight!

  17. #17
    Widget Ne-Cross's Avatar
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    I think He-Bro's comment early summons quite a lot of things up:

    "2.) Do not seek out friends, it will just happen. It will make you appear desperate, which scares away potential friends."

    I can totally relate to this. I am a somewhat reclusive, and lonely person, but one thing I never lacked was friends. It doesn't matter how much time passes, or how much life changes; whenever I meet with a friend, it's as if no time had passed at all. You and me, we have a good thing in common: We are both dudes. And dudes have less trouble than ladies to accept the distance and time between friends.

    I never searched for Friends, really. I just always assumed they would "appear". I mean, it's inevitable, right? If you talk to people, and people talk back to you, and some tend to talk more to you, and you end up identifying with them, or helping them, or receiving their help, then that people, by definition are our friends. Of course, not all friends are equal. We have close friends, not-so-close friends, and far-away friends, and also the occasional friendships; but it also goes down to the bottom of this: We meet people, and people become friends, that's the way things are.

    Now, of course not everyone is equal, and not everybody deals with loneliness the same way. I can withstand loneliness quite well. I don't really know why, but I just do. I spend hours, days, weeks without going out, or taking a night off to meet friends, but that's because that's the way I am. I always took my time to have fun with my stuff ever since I was a Kid. Back in the old days when I was home alone, I would loose myself playing with my MOTU or Zoids toys. Sometimes reading. Or watching movies. Of anything else, really. Heck, I even take vacations alone, spending a couple weeks camping and just living with myself, and never feeling loneliness or boredom in any way. (I have a lot of books, comics, and games that I take with me when vacationing).

    You know where I lack? Women.
    Yeah, that's right, the problem you have with friends, is my problem with women. I never know how to really "get" a girlfriend. I'm just too dumb to make the call, and only make my move when I'm 120% sure they are also receptive to me. I'm not one to take risks, so that means I can end up spending 7+ years without a girlfriend. Which sucks, really. I could have had more than 50 gf's by now if only I wasn't so lazy...



    All this to tell you that, sometimes the things we think we lack, we might not be lacking at all. Perhaps you're just a reclusive guy like me, that have the same hard times "finding" friends, the same way I have a hard time "finding" girlfriends. Anyway, I think we should not get ourselves so down about it. We still have ourselves, our hobbies, our interests, and friends and girlfriends will just appear by themselves.

    You really need to take a looong breathe, and fix your mind and your feelings. To realize what's important to you, and what can you do, and enjoy all by yourself. Then, after that, the rest will come. I never had a Gf in my early youth. I had to wait for a time when I've inserted myself into an urban tribe (Metalheads) to find some girls that happened to enjoy Metal music just like I did. After that, things happened in a rollercoaster fashion. Same thing with friends.
    Friends are the people that surround us when we are doing the things we like. And that's not something that we search. It's something that we find along the way, without even notice.

    *Friendly hugs*
    Last edited by Ne-Cross; January 24, 2017 at 02:17pm.

  18. #18
    Master of New Adventures!
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    This, this!

    Quote Originally Posted by He-bro View Post
    Don't do anything stupid!

    Things will get better. Your conversation sounds like your planning to do something stupid with your precious life.

    Most people who are saved from doing something like that always are grateful that they didn't follow through.

    I too suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts, but I also know the facts, so I let the thoughts come and go, and I know I'll have them but for me it's better than medication.

    The trick is not to dwell on them, help other people, realize that it's much bigger then just you, and pray!!!!!

    Whether you believe or not, crack open the Bible and read. (If you don't have one there are lots of free sites on line to read it from.)

    In 3 years from now this will be a distant memory, you are more than likely destine for great things, and the devil wants to stop you from doing what you are meant to do. That's why he is fighting so hard, fight for your life. If a mugger came up to beat and rob you, you would fight back, this is no different. FIGHT!!!! And stop listening to the voice in your head telling you you're not important. You are important, and that why they are fighting you, and putting thoughts into your head.

    FIGHT with all that you have!!!!

    Fight!

  19. #19
    Searchin' My Soul DisneyBoy's Avatar
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    I would like to Echo a few things that others have said. Definitely do not do anything rash or try to hurt yourself or give up. As Geena Davis said in Beetlejuice dying doesn't really solve anything. Your problems sound very tricky but if it makes you feel any better most people I know are dealing with some combination of insurmountable obstacles. Taking everything one day at a time is very trying but a really good way to try and appreciate the good in life. We all come to this website pretty frequently to escape what's going on in our lives and to remember that we are connected to a community. You are part of that community and we do care what happens to you. It's important that you also care about what happens to you enough to keep putting one foot in front of the other and reminding yourself that you are doing your best and are a worthwhile person for it.

    I have to agree that just because one doctor with an expensive education thinks you should go off to some expensive treatment facility doesn't mean it is necessarily the only path to happiness in your life. Yes, it certainly sounds like a viable option but if you don't have the money you don't have the money. There is another way. It is going to take a little bit of time to find it but that's what life really is about. It's a hustle and you do have the strength to get through it. I'm not saying this as someone who doesn't believe in medical science or who thinks you should turn to religion but rather as someone who has frequently come up against obstacles and been forced to find alternative solutions. I also really get annoyed when people in a very different life situation, usually doctors lawyers or others in those types of circles, insist that there is only one way to do things because it's something that they can afford to do. There's a lot of arrogance in the medical profession and while I don't know anything about why this program was recommended to you, I think you should remind yourself that there's more than one way to skin a cat, as disgusting as that expression is. Is it possible this doctor is shilling for this program? He or she might have a bit of a vested interest in it and that might be why they've tried to convince you it is the only solution. That might not be the case but if you can't afford it it certainly won't hurt you to remind yourself of why it isn't the only way.

    As for making friends, it's kind of like trying to find a job. When you walk into the interview confident in what you can do you stand a much better chance of getting it, at least in my experience. Almost every person that I have tried to be friends with and actively hoped to win over has come and gone from my life. The ones who are willing to accept you and are happy being friends with you...well that's usually all about their perspective. Meaning its less work than you think when you come across good people with open hearts.

    You can find friends, but I definitely think remembering to be a friend to yourself first and foremost is key. You know how they always say you can't love someone else until you learn to love yourself? It's super cheesy and it's pretty much true.

    I hope none of this sounds condescending or preachy and that you are able to take a breath, remember that you are unique and worthy of love and still have a future ahead of you however dark the present might feel. Need to vent online? Vent. Need to start saving up some money by picking up an extra job and completely throwing yourself into work for a month or two? Try that. Try reconnecting with family who you think might be sympathetic to your circumstances. There is probably no one perfect solution to this but by trying to muddle through it, as we all seem to have to, you will find a brighter day if for no other reason then one is due.

    I don't know if that helps at all but I have definitely known a lot of introverts and even more people who lack any social graces and if they can manage to be friends or find friends so can you. No joke, I actually have some long-term acquaintances whose behaviors are so repellent I don't understand how anybody has put up with them all this time and yet they have a solid friendship circle around them for some reason. They aren't rich, they aren't kind-hearted, and if they have problems there people there waiting to help them. Go figure. I'm willing to bet, you would make a much better friend then some of them! So as you hunt for a group therapy opportunity or medical specialists you can turn to, keep your eyes peeled for people of similar interests or in similar positions to you. Don't be bothered if they are a different race, religion, age or socio-economic background. Friends come in all shapes and sizes.

    Lastly, make sure you're getting enough sleep and eating good foods. I find that helps a lot.
    Last edited by DisneyBoy; February 5, 2017 at 11:21am.

  20. #20
    Master of New Adventures!
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    To which I would add that it is prudent to remember that 50% of doctors graduated at the bottom half of their class.


    Quote Originally Posted by DisneyBoy View Post
    I would like to Echo a few things that others have said. Definitely do not do anything rash or try to hurt yourself or give up. As Geena Davis said in Beetlejuice dying doesn't really solve anything. Your problems sound very tricky but if it makes you feel any better most people I know are dealing with some combination of insurmountable obstacles. Taking everything one day at a time is very trying but a really good way to try and appreciate the good in life. We all come to this website pretty frequently to escape what's going on in our lives and to remember that we are connected to a community. You are part of that community and we do care what happens to you. It's important that you also care about what happens to you enough to keep putting one foot in front of the other and reminding yourself that you are doing your best and are a worthwhile person for it.

    I have to agree that just because one doctor with an expensive education thinks you should go off to some expensive treatment facility doesn't mean it is necessarily the only path to happiness in your life. Yes, it certainly sounds like a viable option but if you don't have the money you don't have the money. There is another way. It is going to take a little bit of time to find it but that's what life really is about. It's a hustle and you do have the strength to get through it. I'm not saying this as someone who doesn't believe in medical science or who thinks you should turn to religion but rather as someone who has frequently come up against obstacles and been forced to find alternative solutions. I also really get annoyed when people in a very different life situation, usually doctors lawyers or others in those types of circles, insist that there is only one way to do things because it's something that they can afford to do. There's a lot of arrogance in the medical profession and while I don't know anything about why this program was recommended to you, I think you should remind yourself that there's more than one way to skin a cat, as disgusting as that expression is. Is it possible this doctor is shilling for this program? He or she might have a bit of a vested interest in it and that might be why they've tried to convince you it is the only solution. That might not be the case but if you can't afford it it certainly won't hurt you to remind yourself of why it isn't the only way.

    As for making friends, it's kind of like trying to find a job. When you walk into the interview confident in what you can do you stand a much better chance of getting it, at least in my experience. Almost every person that I have tried to be friends with and actively hoped to win over has come and gone from my life. The ones who are willing to accept you and are happy being friends with you...well that's usually all about their perspective. Meaning its less work than you think when you come across good people with open hearts.

    You can find friends, but I definitely think remembering to be a friend to yourself first and foremost is key. You know how they always say you can't love someone else until you learn to love yourself? It's super cheesy and it's pretty much true.

    I hope none of this sounds condescending or preachy and that you are able to take a breath, remember that you are unique and worthy of love and still have a future ahead of you however dark the present might feel. Need to vent online? Vent. Need to start saving up some money by picking up an extra job and completely throwing yourself into work for a month or two? Try that. Try reconnecting with family who you think might be sympathetic to your circumstances. There is probably no one perfect solution to this but by trying to muddle through it, as we all seem to have to, you will find a brighter day if for no other reason then one is due.

    I don't know if that helps at all but I have definitely known a lot of introverts and even more people who lack any social graces and if they can manage to be friends or find friends so can you. No joke, I actually have some long-term acquaintances whose behaviors are so repellent I don't understand how anybody has put up with them all this time and yet they have a solid friendship circle around them for some reason. They aren't rich, they aren't kind-hearted, and if they have problems there people there waiting to help them. Go figure. I'm willing to bet, you would make a much better friend then some of them! So as you hunt for a group therapy opportunity or medical specialists you can turn to, keep your eyes peeled for people of similar interests or in similar positions to you. Don't be bothered if they are a different race, religion, age or socio-economic background. Friends come in all shapes and sizes.

    Lastly, make sure you're getting enough sleep and eating good foods. I find that helps a lot.

  21. #21
    Co-Creator of the NV
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    I hope that things are looking up for you since your last post.

    This might be a moot point given what you said about the EAP discussion, and I don't know if the rules for the various funding sites preclude this, but have you considered doing multiple things like kickstarter, gofundme, etc? Different venues for different revenues and it might be easier to raise if you're asking for smaller amounts (i.e. instead of one place for 2500, maybe a few at 500).

    Also, have you considered looking into a loan, credit line, or alternatively putting it on your credit card? The interest will suck but it'll be more manageable if spread out over a longer period.

    Good luck

  22. #22
    Heroic Warrior
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    Quote Originally Posted by nicholighkun View Post
    You don't need a man with a plaque on his wall, bilking you for more money than what he's doing is worth. God can change everything. He heals, and He repairs the broken parts.
    I wish I'd seen this sooner so I could raise a red flag. There's so much wrong with the entire post, but this isn't the place to pick apart someone's chosen belief system.

    What does warrant comment is how irresponsible and dangerous this quote is. I'm amazed that no one's challenged this.

    The OP stated he has bipolar disorder. To tell him to ignore the advice of a medical professional who understands the condition and indulge in a faith-based delusion instead is frankly bewildering.

    Even people here who are people of faith have offered more practical advice. I rarely challenge people's right to express their opinions online, but it has to be done when mindless preaching can affect a man's safety.
    Vaults of Grayskull - www.vaultsofgrayskull.co.uk

  23. #23
    Master of New Adventures!
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    Nich, you know me well and you know me to be a highly spiritual -- though not necessarily religious -- person of faith.

    That said, I will go with Vaults on this. I will say that imho faith combined with the appropriate medical advice and counsel and treatment can be powerful. But I cannot agree with your saying that someone who is clinically diagnosed as bi-polar should not seek medical help. Medicine in general and psychiatry in particular have accomplished amazing things. I have an enduring faith, but you can bet when my car was totaled a week ago, by someone texting who never hit their brakes, I want to the ER and had a CT scan to verify there was neither a concussion nor internal bleeding. I certainly prayed for a speedy recovery, but my pain was such that I needed to take the pain meds prescribed to me for two days. There's nothing in my beliefs that says faith and medicine/doctors cannot coexist with and combine to bring about positive results for those in need.

    While my previous post about how 1/2 of all doctors graduated at the bottom half of their class is true, I also believe there is much to be gained from top quality treatment...and that there are inherent dangers in not seeking out medical help when it is truly needed and only relying upon faith. If the time comes that I'm lying on a gurney in a hospital with an 800-pound gorilla named coronary thrombosis sitting on my chest, you can bet I'll pray but that I'll also want a top cardiovascular surgeon at my side. Wouldn't it be the same for you?

    Quote Originally Posted by VaultsofGrayskull View Post
    I wish I'd seen this sooner so I could raise a red flag. There's so much wrong with the entire post, but this isn't the place to pick apart someone's chosen belief system.

    What does warrant comment is how irresponsible and dangerous this quote is. I'm amazed that no one's challenged this.

    The OP stated he has bipolar disorder. To tell him to ignore the advice of a medical professional who understands the condition and indulge in a faith-based delusion instead is frankly bewildering.

    Even people here who are people of faith have offered more practical advice. I rarely challenge people's right to express their opinions online, but it has to be done when mindless preaching can affect a man's safety.
    Last edited by Heeeere's Olesker!; February 12, 2017 at 02:19pm.

  24. #24
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    I think that it should be pointed out that the half that graduated med school at the bottom of their class, did in fact graduate med school. Med school can be very vigorous and a number of them have basic entrance requirements that few people could ever even dream to aspire to. So the fact that someone graduated in the 75th percentile doesn't necessarily mean that he's a bone-headed simpleton that has no medical value. I'd also be somewhat critical about how much credence to give someone's graduation percentile given that a very large proportion of the testing is based on rote memorization, which is a questionably useful skill. It's like testing someone on their carpentry skills without giving them all of their tools.


    As an aside, mental health is one of the most difficult areas for medicine to get a handle on. Diagnoses are pretty subjective and it can be very hard to determine if a person's problems are chemical (i.e. pills help) or not. Medications have helped countless people, many of whom I am personally familiar with (including myself). However the jourey to find the right medication can be pretty hit and miss and for some, nothing does the trick. The same is also true when looking at things from a therapeutic perspective.

  25. #25
    Heroic Daddy to Hermione! Uki's Avatar
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    I do hope all is going well for you, John.

    On a Mod Note, while I think everyone is doing a good job of being respectful of others' opinions and faiths, I do think we need to make certain we don't skirt too close to "Tar Swamp" material in here.

    Thank you!
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