Ok, I need input on my fan-created character for the Evil Warriors

[Killian]

This idea for a character kind of came about a while ago when I was thinking of ideas to customise classic MOTU figures. Since I am in no way a sculptor, there's no way I'd be able to sculpt a good original head with detailed features, but I could easily sculpt a featureless mask with only eyepieces on it.
This got me thinking, what kind of character would wear a mask like that? And I got to thinking maybe an executioner?

So I thought about it some more and decided that maybe he could have been a violent vampirific criminal who had his head sealed in the mask so he couldn't use his fangs on anyone anymore.
After more thought about his potential backstory, executioner style costume, and powers, I came up with this sketch and bio:



I haven't decided on a name for the character yet, but I'm thinking that his powers are based on capture, so either Cap-Tor since it sounds like "Captor" or Man-A-Kill since it sounds like "Manacle", the items he uses, and also has the word kill in it because that's what he likes to do.


I was thinking, he could originally be an immortal Vampire style character who used his fangs to drain the life from many victims, travelling the universe and devouring the populations of whole planets over many years before finally being apprehended by the Cosmic Enforcers.
To end his killing spree, the Cosmic Enforcers had his head sealed in a tight hood/mask that can never be removed and prevents him from opening his mouth, therefore stopping him from devouring people so he would no longer be a threat.

Unfortunately, the Cosmic Enforcers didn't realise that his race, if unable to ingest blood develop the power to be "Energy Vampires", feeding off people's negative emotions. So Cap-Tor merely began capturing people and imprisoning them, torturing them and subjecting them to terrifying ordeals so he could feed off their pain, fear and despair before they expired from the damage. Thus, Cap-tor was able to grow stronger than ever and continue to decimate worlds.

Unfortunately for him, he finally chose to feed off the people of the planet Silax, but he found their powerful warriors to be too numerous and formidable to overcome and he was captured once again.

He was taken to Prison Star, a huge orbiting maximum security prison, that travels the Universe collecting the worst villains and locking them away where they can do no harm.
The technicians of Prison Star modified their Electro-Bonds to form a harness that was permanently bonded onto Cap-Tor. The harness had great, heavy, unbreakable chains and manacles attached that would tighten around him to keep him imprisoned. If his struggles brought him close to working a hand free, the chains would simply reposition, binding him tighter.

For many years, the galaxy was safe from Cap-Tor.

Then, one day Prison Star was struck by a meteor shower causing an explosion near to Cap-Tor's cell. The explosion sent an energy pulse through the computer systems and the chains holding Cap-Tor malfunctioned, somehow bonding their control mechanism to his central nervous system.
The chains were a permanent part of Captor, and now he could control them.

Using the mighty chains like huge, metallic tentacles, Cap-Tor began to bludgeon his cell door, which started to buckle under the onslaught.

Knowing that if he got free, everyone on board Prison Star would be as good as dead, the wardens jettisoned Cap-Tor's cell above a nearby planet hoping that he would either burn up entering the planet's atmosphere, or that the fall from space would kill him when his cell crash landed on the planet's surface.

Cap-Tor did survive the crash, but was badly injured, and would have died had he not been able to feed off his own pain to quickly grow strong and well.
Stepping out of his cell he found a group of warriors from a nearby mountain who had come to investigate the crash wreckage.
Cap-Tor quickly sent his chains snaking out to capture several of the warriors and a struggle ensued until the leaders of the warriors, a seductive woman with a sceptre topped with a crystal ball, and a hooded man with a skull for a face and a ram-headed staff discharged powerful bolts of energy at him, blasting him to the ground.
Unable to interrogate Cap-Tor due to his mask, the woman intoned some mystical words and suddenly in the surface of her crystal ball appeared scenes from Cap-Tor's memories, his many murders, sociopathic violence and depraved acts swiftly flashed by in the stone.
The mind blowing horror of what they were seeing caused some of the warriors to faint or at least recoil in terror. Only their leader, the mysterious sorceror with the skeletal face seemed impressed.

Impressed enough to offer Cap-Tor a job...

By the time the guards of Prison Star were able to investigate Cap-Tor's crash site on Eternia, it was too late. He had taken up residence inside Snake Mountain and couldn't be traced...

A new nightmare for He-Man had begun.

* * * * * * * * * * *


Ok, so what do you guys think?

Can anyone come up with a better name for the character?
A better design?
Different powers?
A different backstory?
Is he too dark and sadistic for MOTU?
Would he be better off with the Horde, working on Beast Island?
Is a character that seems to be a mix of Entrapta, Doctor Octopus, and Hannibal Lector too weird for MOTU?
What should his color scheme be?
Do I need therapy?

Thanks, all constructive criticism/input, gratefully recieved

[claw guy 3]

The first thing I thought was Gimpor! Sorry!

Seriously though, I think he sounds too dark for MOTU (what I consider MOTU, anyway). Being called Man-A-Kil sounds cool and having him be the head honcho of Beast Island's prison would be enough for me. He would have plenty of encounters with escaping Rebels!

I can see him watching that big screen thing while Bow, trying to escape, runs down hallways, evades traps and snots Troopers and when enough is enough Man-A-Kil steps in, kicks Bow's butt and drags his sorry carcass back down into the bowels of the prison. Awesome

Nothing much like what you said but thats what your cool drawing brings to my mind

The next time Bow tries to escape, just hearing those chains scraping along the dungeon floor is enough to send him scurring back to his cell!!!

[Killian]

The first thing I thought was Gimpor! Sorry!

Seriously though, I think he sounds too dark for MOTU (what I consider MOTU, anyway)

It's the mask isn't it? I was just going with "easy to sculpt" but maybe it needs more details so it doesn't look so gimpy? Also, instead of using Man-E-Faces style boots, should I choose something less thigh-high so he looks less like a refugee from a Pride Parade?

Anyone have any ideas?


How should I make him less dark? Drop the serial killer aspect and have him just be a normal guy changed by Skeletor or Hordak? How would that work out?
Give him bright colors in his color scheme?

What do people think?

[Predabot]

All of the different chains are kind of confusing... I'd say, cut them down to two very special ones instead.

What I start thinking about immediately, is that maybe you could take a few cues from Ram-Man? He's got that executioner-look too. Maybe Man-A-Kill could have something to do with that tradition, the look has never really been explained where it comes from.

Nor why Ram-Man no longer has a normal head or legs...

How about, you change the regular black of the mask, into a simple armour one, that sort of goes on top of the cloth? Just take Ram-Man's helmet and make it smaller and with a round dome instead. Give him some shackles on his gloves that act as braces and connects to the two chains. And it would be kind of cool to give him a skull-belt instead of the key. But to keep up with the key-motif, why not change the skull on his chest into a skull-key or Skull-lock?

And yeah... I think the least favourite part are the knee-high boots. I'd suggest perhaps chosing something a little bit different. You could always look towards Marvels version of Hercules for some very unusual leg-strappings.
http://www.immortalthor.net/bio-hercules.jpg

[Patreek]

hey Killian, where you been with these awesome ideas and art skills!! I had no idea! Jeez. Anyway, I like him and think he has a lot of potential. Personally I dont' like the name Manakill I'd definitely go with Cap-tor above that.

I don't think that he's NOT motu'ish but I DO feel like he'd fit right into spawn and sorta resembles doc oc as he is right now. I think maybe instead of the chains just spouting from his back maybe it would look less doc oc if they were wrapped around him in different places. It would also then play up the fact that not only does he have the ability to capture but he infact himself sort of is. Also as cool as that skull is, i might just put another key hole there instead... or somehow combine that with the skull? As for the mask, I think its fine... maybe if you could see a bit of his fur or "animalness" sicking out from it at its seams, or from out of the neck it might help.

Other than that when I am having trouble making a character look more MOTU'ish I take the design I have and then I look at all my he-man figures and I incorporate elements from their designs into the new characters in places where it is appropriate or looks the same but just is embellished by the style... if that makes any sense. lol In turns of making a custom this will then help later probably too. Think about what parts you might use to make him as a base, and then what modifications you would make over that base.

[claw guy 3]

I like the mask. I think giving the goggles a metalic sheen would be cool.

Boots wise, even having his tights go down into his boots to prevent thigh exposure would look less S&M

2 too 4 chains would be ample I think. What if they came out of his armpits or something. Gross

The key lock would be easy to turn into a skull and cross bones siloutte?

An executioners axe instead of a tazer/prod? Even an axe like ram-mans if you went down that track. He could be someone from ram-mans past/family. Imagine if ram-man comes from a long line of executioners and he fled to Eternos and tries to forget his heritage?

Go a cape

You'll end up with 5 very different character ideas just from 1 pic! I'm going through this at the moment. 1 idea turns into a whole team!!

All ideas, ignore them all if you like

*edit* I've done a crappy edit of you not crappy pic if you want too see it

[Sky Breaker]

Did you draw that? The lines look great!

Now as for the character, the overall design is good, however, he is looking a little on the sadomasochist fantasy Heavy Metal bondage side. Not so say that it looks bad, but yeah, it could be a little more 'kid friendly'.

I say replace the knee high boots with full pants and armor them up (like Trap-Jaw's lower half). I'd also connect the mask to the shoulders, give it more of a cowel look, and maybe give him some shoulder armor. Other than that, he looks pretty solid. You can also exaggerate the size of his mace weapon. Right now it looks a little... um... poking and probing rather than menacing and smashing.

You could even change the prong thing into a giant futuristic violet wand/stun gun for torture purposes. Heh. Take it wherever you want, but overall the lines are great!

[j-bird]

He does look pretty S&M right now ... kind of like "Man-a-kill - Evil Master of Bondage."

I like the idea of the mask keeping his vampiric bite at bay.

I think two minor tweaks (that have already been mentioned) would really help lessen the less-kid-friendly aspects of him:

1) Attach the hood to the harness (black from chin to the skull on his chest).

2) Cover his thighs (the leather speedo kind of puts it over the top right now).

I like the chains, but I think the idea of having them come from manacles on his own wrists makes them less Doctor Octopus and more symbolic (as has also been suggested).

[Sky Breaker]

So I thought I would add this...

Can anyone come up with a better name for the character?

I think Man-A-Kill works just fine.

A better design?

As suggested in my previous post, beef up the armor and cover up those exposed thighs. The knee high boots combined with the other elements is too S & M for my liking. This is a fan creation, so it doesn't have to run with the original canon too perfectly. You decide.

Different powers?

Well the powers are fine. There are no 'vampire' characters in MOTU (aside from Batros who's a giant bat, and Mosquitor who is vampiric, close but not vampires). If you want those 'vampire' fangs kept at bay, you're going to have to beef up that mask. Maybe give it a device which keeps the mandible closed.

A different backstory?

Its fine.

Is he too dark and sadistic for MOTU?

That's a matter of opinion, and your own writing. Hordak tortured and imprisoned victims. He can still have the sinister executioner garb, but you don't need to go into crazy detail about what he does behind closed doors.

Would he be better off with the Horde, working on Beast Island?

Sure if you want.

Is a character that seems to be a mix of Entrapta, Doctor Octopus, and Hannibal Lector too weird for MOTU?

Nope.

What should his color scheme be?

Black, white and red if he's Horde. Maybe Black, white and purple if he's not.

Do I need therapy?

I'm a therapist. Send me all your money and we'll talk. Maybe after a couple $1'000 sessions we'll know if you need one...

[oICEMANo]

What about Man-Cuff, Lock-Up, Jailor, Chain-Man, Shackle-Man?

I've noticed a distinct absence of the "-Man" suffix in fan characters... it's always "ar" or "or"... know what I mean?

Personally I'm against Man-A-Kill cos it's similar to my Ice-A-Kill!

[Killian]

I can see him watching that big screen thing while Bow, trying to escape, runs down hallways, evades traps and snots Troopers and when enough is enough Man-A-Kil steps in, kicks Bow's butt and drags his sorry carcass back down into the bowels of the prison. Awesome

Nothing much like what you said but thats what your cool drawing brings to my mind

The next time Bow tries to escape, just hearing those chains scraping along the dungeon floor is enough to send him scurring back to his cell!!!

Thanks, that sounds awesome, like he would be employed as a jailor and never really leave to fight external battles. Cool.

All of the different chains are kind of confusing... I'd say, cut them down to two very special ones instead.

How about, you change the regular black of the mask, into a simple armour one, that sort of goes on top of the cloth? Just take Ram-Man's helmet and make it smaller and with a round dome instead. Give him some shackles on his gloves that act as braces and connects to the two chains. And it would be kind of cool to give him a skull-belt instead of the key. But to keep up with the key-motif, why not change the skull on his chest into a skull-key or Skull-lock?

And yeah... I think the least favourite part are the knee-high boots. I'd suggest perhaps chosing something a little bit different.

Yeah, maybe two chains would be better, less heavily tooled up and more like Slushhead/Kalamaar's tentacle weapons. It'd be easier to draw as well I'm liking the idea of them coming off his gloves too, I hadn't thought of that.

I hadn't thought about Ram-Man's design, I've never really liked him so didn't even consider it, I'll have to look into that.

I like the idea of the skull belt, and a skull-lock would be fun to design. I only went with the knee-high boots because I was going to use Trap-Jaw, Roboto or Man-E-Faces' legs if I did a custom figure. Maybe He-man style boots would be the way to go?

Thanks.

hey Killian, where you been with these awesome ideas and art skills!! I had no idea! Jeez.
I think maybe instead of the chains just spouting from his back maybe it would look less doc oc if they were wrapped around him in different places. It would also then play up the fact that not only does he have the ability to capture but he infact himself sort of is.
Think about what parts you might use to make him as a base, and then what modifications you would make over that base.

Thanks. I've had the ideas for ages, I just only got around to buying a scanner to put my art online lol
I guess chains coming from his back don't make much sense, if put them on his gloves, then it's like he also has his hands cuffed, maybe Skeletor would be able to also control the chains to imprison Cap-Tor if he steps out of line?

As a base for the figure I was thinking maybe Zodac or Stratos for the torso and arms ?

I think giving the goggles a metalic sheen would be cool.

An executioners axe instead of a tazer/prod? Imagine if ram-man comes from a long line of executioners and he fled to Eternos and tries to forget his heritage?

I've done a crappy edit of you not crappy pic if you want too see it

I was half considering yellow for the goggles, dunno why, but I like the idea of the metallic sheen, it seems more industrial like he's less 'human'.
I'm not sure about an axe because he would just behead people when he caught them which wouldn't leave much scope for He-Man being able to rescue them? Perhaps an axe-shaped weapon that performs an incapacitating function? That's a cool idea for history with Ram-Man, I'll have to think on that one.
And I Definitely would love to see your edit of my pic please, either post it in this thread or pm me with it, that'd be awesome!

Did you draw that? The lines look great!
I say replace the knee high boots with full pants and armor them up (like Trap-Jaw's lower half). I'd also connect the mask to the shoulders, give it more of a cowel look, and maybe give him some shoulder armor. Other than that, he looks pretty solid.
You could even change the prong thing into a giant futuristic violet wand/stun gun for torture purposes. If you want those 'vampire' fangs kept at bay, you're going to have to beef up that mask. Maybe give it a device which keeps the mandible closed.

Yeah, I drew it, there was a lot of erasing pencil lines and looking at other art for reference before inking it in though lol.
Maybe I should tool up his leg armor Man-At-Arms style? like he could house devices there etc?
Loving the cowl idea, more like a full executioner hood that comes down to the shoulders. Having armor on the shoulders is a great idea.
I was wondering about his weapon acting like a tazer to stun his enemies, so the violet wand thing is cool. I'd love to see any ideas you have for keeping the mandible closed too. Thanks for the input. :-D

He does look pretty S&M right now ... kind of like "Man-a-kill - Evil Master of Bondage."
I like the idea of the mask keeping his vampiric bite at bay.

Lol, yeah, I found it really hard to design a character with the qualities I was considering without him getting kinda S&M, though I guess MOTU is all guys in harnesses and tiny pants hurting each other ... I wonder if I make him more Cyber-Goth, it'd soften out the potential kinkiness?
I like the idea of him having a vampirific bite, but being unable to use it, it fits in with the way Clawful and Scorpia don't get to hurt people with their claws in the old toon. Thanks

What about Man-Cuff, Lock-Up, Jailor, Chain-Man, Shackle-Man?

I've noticed a distinct absence of the "-Man" suffix in fan characters... it's always "ar" or "or"... know what I mean?

Thanks IceMan, I like 'Man-Cuff' it sounds like 'Handcuffs', 'Jailor' works if he is assigned to govern Snake Mountain or Beast Island's dungeons. I totally get what you mean about too many names ending in 'or', though I can't think of many names for this character that end in 'Man'

What do people think about names such as 'Lock-Lord', or 'BadLock' (y'know, like 'padlock')?


Thanks everyone

[Killian]

Okay, I finally had the chance to sit down and redesign my character.


I've given him just 2 chains and made them cables that can extend instead. I think that's less confusing.

Instead of Roboto legs he has Zodac legs.

I gave him shoulder armor based on 200x Ram-Man.

I changed his chest skull into a lock that holds the armor on him.

He now has the normal MOTU fuzzy pants instead of his speedo.

I changed the face mask to incorporate a metallic jaw clamp type thing so it looks less like an S&M leather hood. It also continues to his shoulders now like a cowl.

I gave him an axe but with the Ultraviolet Wand attachment at the top with a dial he can turn to change the voltage to subdue an enemy or damage/destroy them. I also gave it a spinning spiked wheel weapon at the base.



What does everyone think about it now? Any more suggestions?


Thanks.

[Predabot]

Why no skull, or perhaps, KEY on belt?

[BlueLobster1979]

I like the second version better. I'm not 100% sure why the first looked so S&M and the second one doesn't... I think it's the thigh-high boots on the first one, and maybe the modern hand-cuffs in the mix, which have many more modern connotations than the iron shackles of the second one.

[claw guy 3]

Nice work Killian! Gee he's come up well. I agree with Predabot, he should have a ring of kwys on his belt (if he's a jailor)

[Killian]

Why no skull, or perhaps, KEY on belt?

I guess I didn't want his outfit to feel too 'busy'.

I agree with Predabot, he should have a ring of kwys on his belt (if he's a jailor)

You mean like keys on a key ring like you tend to see jailors with? That'd be cool.
I was toying with the idea of having a key shape incorporated into his weapon so he could fight with it as well as using it to unlock things.

I like the second version better. I'm not 100% sure why the first looked so S&M and the second one doesn't...

Yeah, me too. I think the current drawing looks more like a MOTU warrior. The first one was far too much like a guy from a Leather Pride event or something.



Thanks guys


I'm wondering what kind of color scheme he should have? Like should it incorporate so much black? What color should his skin be?

Should I add anything extra to his bio?

[Rain]

I like the keyhole/cross bones logo. Very cool!

Over all I like the character alot.

[Sky Breaker]

Okay, I finally had the chance to sit down and redesign my character.


I've given him just 2 chains and made them cables that can extend instead. I think that's less confusing.

Instead of Roboto legs he has Zodac legs.

I gave him shoulder armor based on 200x Ram-Man.

I changed his chest skull into a lock that holds the armor on him.

He now has the normal MOTU fuzzy pants instead of his speedo.

I changed the face mask to incorporate a metallic jaw clamp type thing so it looks less like an S&M leather hood. It also continues to his shoulders now like a cowl.

I gave him an axe but with the Ultraviolet Wand attachment at the top with a dial he can turn to change the voltage to subdue an enemy or damage/destroy them. I also gave it a spinning spiked wheel weapon at the base.

http://fc03.deviantart.com/fs30/i/20...enzoknight.jpg

What does everyone think about it now? Any more suggestions?


Thanks.

I think he's great! You've given his mask purpose, cleaned him up and made him look awesome. He's definately been converted into something that fits my idea of MOTU.

The weapon he has is absolutely gruesome looking. I wouldn't worry too much about the shackles, or the vampire maw sealed behind that bit, the sight of the weapon would have me scurrying!

A +++!

[Patreek]

He's looking a lot more MOTU thats for sure. I prefered the chains you had at first to these more tech looking cords and I actually wish there were a few more chains on him, maybe two more. other than that he's coming along nicely.

[j-bird]

Well, he definitely looks less S&M now - that's for sure! But there's something about the original that I can't quite put my finger on that seems "missing" somehow from the updated version.

Not that I dislike the new one ... I'll try and think on it more, but I feel for some reason like there's some sort of middle ground between the two versions you've posted that might be - I don't want to say "better" - but might "click" more.

Wow, that's really vague and not terribly helpful ... urgh.

[Sky Breaker]

Well, he definitely looks less S&M now - that's for sure! But there's something about the original that I can't quite put my finger on that seems "missing" somehow from the updated version.

Not that I dislike the new one ... I'll try and think on it more, but I feel for some reason like there's some sort of middle ground between the two versions you've posted that might be - I don't want to say "better" - but might "click" more.

Wow, that's really vague and not terribly helpful ... urgh.

I was kind of thinking the same thing, but I didn't want to say it.

For me, I think its the boots. I really liked the original boots, though I suggested full pants. Once the rest of the design was armored up, it became less like Heavy Metal skin fantasy, and more like a twisted warrior, but the new boots lack pop. They could have stayed higher with the metal accents. The 3 toed creature feet was a great addition as well.

Just my opinions Killian, don't rush to alter your design on my account! He still is an awesome character all the same.

[Killian]

Now I've seen The Mighty Spector figure that is coming out next year, I reckon I can try and make a custom figure based on my character since the Spector figure looks reasonably similar

[super-munkyboy]

I've never seen this thread, but I really like that second version!!!!!!

[Faceless One]

Great character, nicely imaginative and a good design . Replying to your questions

Can anyone come up with a better name for the character?

Maybe Lock-up, Lockmaster, Grapplor...

A better design?

The 1st design is already great, I would recommend to draw the chains thicker and bigger, and maybe reduce them to four. Maybe invert the logos, put the skull on the belt and the lock on the center (like the 2nd design).

Different powers? maybe yes, as well as
A different backstory?

Yes . He was a magician who learned too many secrets about opening magical doors between worlds, and was trapped by the 5 mystical locks by the Elders who thought that it was impossible for anybody to open them. After eons of trying, now he has been able to open all 5 and has arrived to Eternia to take vengeance on the Elders or they descendants, which would obviously end in him trying to get inside Grayskull and maybe teaming up with Skeletor. He could have become quite mad and weird after some many years being alone.

Is he too dark and sadistic for MOTU?

Yeah, at least the original story.

Would he be better off with the Horde, working on Beast Island?

I think too many similar character are already made for the Horde.

Is a character that seems to be a mix of Entrapta, Doctor Octopus, and Hannibal Lector too weird for MOTU?

Probably it will end up resembling a bit Dr Octopus in the general idea, but hey, that's not so bad.

What should his color scheme be?

White and black are two colours nearly unused by Mattel, so I think it is fine as it is.

Do I need therapy?

Probably, as well as me for taking the time to reply all questions .

[Lewd_Squirrel]

looks great. I like both versions.