November 23, 2008, 12:50am
First off I want to make it clear that I am a huge vampire fan. Secondly, I have not read the books, so I walked into this movie with an open mind...
I was so disappointed. Twilight was utterly boring. Probably the most uninspired tale of teen angst I have ever seen. A story that appeared to have tried reinventing vampires, that failed miserably with its crushing OC type drama, and complete lack of suspense or intrigue.
The Vampires. Or should I say 'sexy, mainstream, plastic teenage eunuchs'. They did not have fangs. They are vampires without fangs! Way to neuter your monsters Mr. Author Whose Name I Don't Care To Know. Its like a Jedi without a light saber. In the beginning of the film, I was so excited when Edward covered his mouth upon seeing Belle. I thought "Ooh, his fangs are showing? Vampire blood lust reflex maybe?" - Nope.
There was nothing. Just a mouthful of human teeth. Boring. The make-up was unimpressive period, but I'm sure 90% of the teenybopper movie goes will be clamoring to buy up some cool contacts to give them "Edward Eyes". No fangs, no claws, nothing out of the ordinary, or nothing ordinary for vampires, safe for the piercing contacts. I didn't mind that the vampires walked around in daylight, heck, that was kind of interesting, until I saw them glitter. Glitter? I thought he was a vampire?!?! Not a wood sprite! This isn't a movie about vampires, its a movie about homoerotic, fang less wood sprites.
Costumes? Utterly boring. That's all I have to say. I think the budget was blown on that one piece of faux fur and hair extensions. Yep, the fang budget was chewed up by hair extensions.
Special Effects? Har har har. It is to laugh. Almost as funny as vampires playing baseball in the rain as a family.
The villain? Besides looking like a barefoot Abercrombie & Fitch poster boy, there was nothing special about him. I don't recall him even having the 'vampire eyes'. Not one memorable line. For a vampire that was supposed to be powerful, he was quickly dispatched, and dismembered off camera, making the most thrilling, sadistic sequence in the movie highly forgettable.
The fight sequences? Boring. I'm surprised there was even time for 1 with all the stomach turning mush going on. Wow. Can you even picture it? Two fang less vampires hissing at one another. Remember that scene from the Lost Boys where Michael and David battle? Picture that without the fangs, and without the great score, and without any other redeeming quality. Am I getting my point across?
I read somewhere that fans of the book were outraged when they heard who would be playing Edward. I read that blogs were crammed with stuff like "he's ugly, poor casting, he's gross", actually, he's not so bad, he grew on me, its too bad he wanted the role. I feel sorry for him that he starred in a movie that can only be described as about as exciting as a dated tv halloween episode. Remember the vampire episode of Smallville. Remember how your eyes rolled when you saw that they were bringing vampires into the Smallville mythos, and making Lana into one for its 45 of predictably painful performances. Remember how dumb it was? Remember how even the laughable sawdust headed sorority sisters actually had fangs? Ugh...
Twilight gets a generous 2.5 out of 10. 3 because of 2 pretty boys, and .5 for a sorry attempt at doing something different to the vampire genre, but since it failed, I can't give it a whole point... Not even worth the rental.
Last edited by Sky Breaker; November 23, 2008 at 01:07am.
November 23, 2008, 01:17am
I've talked about the Twilight book series quite a bit on other boards actually.
I think the books themselves are ok, though clearly not written for a guy like me. But all of my female and gay friends adore the books so they definitely have an audience. I'm actually interested in seeing the movie, if only to see how it translates to the screen (IE: Bella is super boring/annoying, Edward is abnoxiously and unbelievably perfect yet still a huge wuss, whilst his family and bellas 2nd love interest Jacob completely steal the show).
A warning to anyone starting to read the books - AVOID the last book at all costs. It raped almost everything I liked about the book and centered completely around a really obnoxious plot twist/ plot device.
November 23, 2008, 01:31am
Mistress of the Whip!
The audience for these books and movie are teenage girls. Most will not enjoy it save them. Now I have talked to a few moms who enjoyed it as well. Like it or lump it this is a chick flick type of movie that most guys will hate. I heard it is very close to the book. I read the book but I'll wait for the movie on DVD. Yes its teen angst at its peak.
The story was written by Ms Meyer who is a mormon mother and got the idea for the story via a dream. Personally, I want to have more dreams like that because her series is compaired to Harry Potter and she is making money hand over fist.
The first day it was out twilight made 7 million. I'm interested to see what it does this weekend.
And frankly I'm ok with it being a girl, angsty teen flick. All the movies out there cant be slasher or comicbook movies.
Obey the whip!
Smile like you mean it.
November 23, 2008, 05:48am
Lumpy Space Person
You say you had an open mind, but then you bash the movie for not being what you expected it should be.
Originally Posted by Sky Breaker
I thought that the books were great, and I liked the movie a lot, and I am a 33 year old straight male. BTW my wife, mom, dad, and brothers all read the books, and they all liked the movie. Notice that none of them are teenage girls (who, admittedly will find the story more appealing than most other demographics).
November 23, 2008, 08:05am
I never read the books. I thought all the previews for the movie looked terrible. But alas I had to go with the lady friend to see it Thursday night. While it wasn't AS BAD as I thought it was going to be, it was still pretty brutal. But like Divia said, the target audience for this movie is teenage girls. The theater I was at had to be 95% girls 17 and under. I'm a 26 year old guy, so I'm on the opposite end of the target audience. They loved it and ate it all up, while I laughed at how awful everything about it was. But I still left not thinking it was the worst movie I had ever seen. That easily still goes to any Rob Zombie movies that are made.
November 23, 2008, 08:16am
well now i might catch this flick elsewhere now.
lol, i had seen the preview where the guy makes the girl say what he is..and i never noticed before that they were in daylight.
so is this book series the harry potter of vampires?