
Originally Posted by
Sky Breaker
I wasn't going to see this movie, and therefore would reserve judgement until the day I didn't pay to see it, but some friends dragged me out to it. While Shia Lebouf was his usual charming self, and I could bring myself to watch his next flick, if its sans MB, this movie was a piece of garbage. All of Bumbleebee's screen time was a fanboys delight, he was about the only CGI investment that worked.
There were no ******bots or Slutbots this time. However Michael Bay's amazing, original and creative vision of WTFormers served us his usual turd bowl of squiggly, droopy faced, fowl mouthed little twirpbots, who seem to appeal to the women in the audience more than anyone. "Oh he's so cute and silly!", and serve no purpose other than making funny noises and having cheesey one liners, but in boring, predictable fashion, save the day at the end. "Silly wobot fall all way down! Go boom! Ha ha ha!"
The way he shot is new lipo-lipped starlet was so gratuitous, with more upskirt shots than a cheap softcore appealed to the 'dudes' in the audience. "Aww dude! That's hot! Dude!" I think there was a Predatorbot there too. The Transformers designs had been slowly morphing into Matrixesque machines, and in this movie, the transformation was complete.
The half baked parents were there, with their usual swill of 'hip' life advice. The old batch of utterly laughable, painful to watch, one dimensional, useless human characters were there to fill the space between scenes. That turdpile of CGI metal they called Starscream, drooled alot. That bizarre thing they called Shockwave made alot of scary noises. Lazerbeak was a lackluster twist of metal and bad lines. Yes, Laserbeak can talk between squawking, though what he has to say is nothing you want to hear.
It was the worst out of the bayverse *** movies. It was the worst pile of crap movie I've seen this year. I would have walked out and got my money back, but I had to see just how far down into the sludge he would pull it. This guy and everyone that didn't slap him, needs a swift backhand across the face. I had to pretend this movie was some other dish of sci-fi cusTURD, just so I could choke it down. I was first out of the theater, and anyone who didn't look like a complete idiot hopped up on Redbull, wearing a TF tee with fingers soaked in butter, and wasn't some tribal tattooed little punk still yaking about what they would do with Boobs McLips if they had her for a night stated clearly, "Yeah, it sucked."
I am a fan of G1 TF yes, and of some of the other TF universes,though I am more a fan of good movies. This was in no way either. Worst movie ever. I hate Michael Bay. I'm going to go see the new HP, I'm going to love it, and that will be it for my summer blockbusters this year.
1 out of 10 (1 for Shia, because he did Sam well, and looked the part, he would have scored a 2 had he the balls to stand up, be a real hero, and stop MB from ruining this movie)
PS: Have you ever watched Blue Mountain State? BMS is Spike TV's smutty, foul college jock comedy series, centering around a football team and the chicks they bang, inspired by such 80s frat flicks such as Animal House. I watch it when I want to completely turn off my brain, and be stupid. After watching the series, I can see now where MB pulls his inspiration from. MBs Transformers watches like 3 episodes of BMS, with giant CGI robots painted in the background. God I hate this man.