June 17, 2014, 07:44am
Need to vent - but a happy story :o)
Haven't posted for a while (I think my last post was moaning that I was sad Christmas was over!) but I really wanted to share this and, no,
it's not miserable as the first par may suggest!
A few years ago, I went through a painful divorce. It was supposedly an "amicable" affair, according to the lawyers involved, as we had no children and dealt with things in a businesslike way. It was a mutual decision, so not much anger to speak of but, of course, it was still a very difficult process that made me feel sympathy for anyone who does have children/disagreements over property, etc, to deal with. My situation would've been small-fry to those poor guys.
Nevertheless, it was far from easy, although I had started a new role at work that I dived into happily to take my mind off things, and my co-workers were great about it, inviting me out all the time. Plus my new manager was a fellow divorcee, so was sympathetic to my taking time off to meet lawyers etc.
Of course, on the relationships front (aside from a couple of regrettable brief encounters), I wanted to take a time-out, and stayed out of the game for at least a year. This was a happy time - I quit smoking, dived into exercise and took up martial arts training for the first time since I was around 14.
Then I met my partner, would've been September '08, at a local pub.
A couple of interesting facts here - first, I was wary of getting into a fresh relationship. The second was there was a considerable age gap (12 years-ish, which I honestly didn't realise immediately - I'll try and post a pic further down and you might see why), and the third was that she had three kids already. I say three "kids" - because of the age gap, one daughter was 8 at the time - her two older sisters were in their late teens and early twenties. And I found out she'd been a grandma since 37 (she was 40 when we met, I was 27/28). I'm sure there's a name for this somewhere, please hold all jokes…
So considerable "baggage" then. I was also concerned eyebrows might be raised among my friends, work colleagues and - worst of all - my parents, who had disapproved of my marriage since day one (I was an idiot who married the first girl that looked at me, we were engaged at 18) so, this time round I was fully expecting a dressing-down. It never came, nor did it from anyone else, even my "guy" friends. Seriously my parents seemed to like her more than me.
So here we are nearly 7 years later. There have been upsets - her daughters have been in different relationships, had more kids since, break-ups, money troubles, etc, and so have we, but we've managed to pull through, and I've always helped them out wherever I can. We moved in together 18 months ago (the two of us, and her younger daughter, who's now 16).
Anyway, apologies for the long rant - I'll get to the point!
As I said, I had no children of my own, instead finding myself in a ready-made family (although with them being older, a lot of the time it feels more like hanging out with buddies). I've always been concerned about a lack of parental instincts, and haven't been interested in having my own kids.
Then I received this on Sunday (Father's Day in the UK, not sure about US), and everything slotted into perspective. My partner, and her girls, have become the light of my life. This is what makes living worthwhile.
June 17, 2014, 09:05am
Hey Christophalophalos great story and thanks for sharing. Good to see things are working out for you!
One question........If your partner was a Grandma at 37, how old was her daughter when she had the baby?
June 17, 2014, 09:18am
About 17 I think if memory serves? Not ideal I know but they all turned out fine.
It's quite comical, the now-16-year-old we have at home is really straight-laced in comparison, she says her older sisters have put
her off the idea for life