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Thread: Meet the Rea-Por! (Or: Heroic & Villainous MOTU Deaths)

  1. #26
    Evil Henchman of Hordak Louis649's Avatar
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    I laughed a lot with your Bow, Skeletor and Megator stories. No one can cheat death.
    I'm Skeletor, master of evil! All of you should show respect for the awful one.

    I am Grizzlor #1 fan!

  2. #27
    Heroic Warrior Eternian Poet's Avatar
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    Hehehe! Thanks!
    ***
    Funny Fan Fic: Meet the Rea-Por! (Heroic & Villainous Deaths) & The Mighty Spector's FIRST EVER FAN-FIC
    & not so funny Fan Fic: War of Attrition
    Trade feedback & WANTED: Bow/SLL style boots!

  3. #28
    Heroic Warrior Eternian Poet's Avatar
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    The Pansy Pact (v2)

    It was a glorious evening on Planet Eternia! He-Man & the Heroic Warriors had fought off Skeletor, Hordak & King Hisss all in one go! Everyone was at the local bar celebrating - Ram-Man & Fisto were already dangerously drunk & even Teela was being sort of flirty in a butch way. Except... three of our heroes were not happy. Their roles in the battle had been entirely useless.

    Mekaneck turned his head right around to face Extendar & Snout-Spout. He did this mostly because it was one of the few tricks he was capable of doing. He sighed. "My long neck really isn't that useful, is it guys?"

    "Bah!" spat Extendar, "your neck gets longer than mine! You're always complaining - that's why people call you Pain-in-the-Mekaneck!"

    "What!?" whimpered Mekaneck, "I... I didn't know that!"

    "So much for your surveillance skills then, huh!?" said Extendar with a malicious grin.

    Mekaneck's head slumped forwards - or rather- backwards, as he was still looking behind him. His little cleft-chin rested upon his spine & slowly, pathetically, sank down his back by a few notches. 'Click'. 'Click.' his neck went.

    Snout-Spout watched the two friends bicker with his big sad eyes. "That's not a bad nickname Mek. Extendar told me that the Queen calls me 'Dumbo' or sometimes 'Mr. Merrick'. I don't know why, but I don't like it." A single tear rolled down his metal face & his nose dripped.

    "Get a freakin' grip!" yelled Extendar, his limbs extended with annoyance, ready to hit out at something - anything! "Your life was saved by your neck, Mek & as for you, Snouty, Hordak only replaced your stupid head. With me, he changed my whole body! I'm all metal - "

    "Yeah" Snout said with fake sympathy "and we ALL know that, that means the only part of your body that doesn't extend is your - "

    Cocka-doodle-doo! crowed a rooster outside, in a timely fashion.

    Mekaneck grinned, glad that Extendar was being teased instead of him.

    Extendar glowered at them both & glugged his jug of ale. "B*stards..." he muttered behind his metal mask.

    On the table next to them, Prince Adam was dancing while the other Masters clapped. His face was rosey-red with drink & suddenly he fell into Fistos lap. "Oh Fisto! Thanks for catching me!" and he fluttered his eye-lids as Fisto tittered.

    "Gods and demons damn it!" Yelled Extendar. "I hate my life!"

    "Let's get out of here" muttered Snout gloomily. "I need to clear my head."

    "Why?" sputtered Mekaneck drunkly, "can you never forget your pain?"

    Snout tried to glare at Mekaneck, but just looked sad, which made Mek feel even more down. "Jeez..." he said quietly, "I..."

    "Come on!" interrupted Extendar, "I'm going to kill myself! Everyone hates me! and my powers are just goofy!"

    "Yeah!" cried Mekaneck, staggering to his feet. "Screw this!" and pulled Snout with him. "Um.. ok" stammered poor Spouty.

    The three friends left together, but everyone except Buzz-Off was having too much fun to see them go. With glittering insect eyes he watched their departing backs and said to himself "ZZzzz! Glad to see thoze buzz-killz go!"

    ***

    Castle Greyskull! The terrifying & indomitable Fortress of Mystery & Power seemd to stare at the three heroes standing before it. The stone was a deep, dark green that appeared black in the night-time. Though each massive stone looked worn with age, the blocks themselves seem to have been carved and laid-down by giants, the whole edifice having the appearance of familiarity, but on an alien scale that would be impossible for mere humans to construct. The massive stones of the battlements above the walls had the same quality - and though etched in cracks and pitted with blows, each stone had an aura of indestructibility, of solidity and reality which were so imposing that you almost felt crushed by them if you approached too close, as if they took up your own space.

    The three suicidal heroes shuddered - every inch of Greyskull was a threat, a hulking slab of stone that warned away every living thing. Nothing grew nearby, no birds roosted therein, no animal looked upon it. In the darkness and the rain, they could not see the Castle clearly. Darkness pooled within the mouth and eyes of Greyskull.

    "Here we are" bellowed Extendar, standing with his two friends on the lip of the bottomless Abyss that surrounded Greyskull. "This is the end of us & our crappy powers!"

    The three heroes held hands. "We die together!" cried Mekaneck, blubbing in self-pity.

    "No-one cares about us!" whimpered Snouty, looking around in the hope that someone had followed them, to stop them.

    "Right!" screamed Extendar. "This suicide pact is the only smart thing we've ever done! To hell with Eternia!" he shrieked and jumped, his iron hands gripping his two friends, dragging them into the bottomless moat.

    "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHH!" they screamed as they plunged towards an eternal death.

    But as they fell, waving their arms and kicking their legs, Mekaneck changed his mind. He began to extend his normally useless neck, faster than his velocity. Suddenly, his head reached the edge of the Abyss, high above his falling body - and with sudden resolve his head shot over the ground and his neck wrapped around a nearby, twisted rock. With a sudden jerk, Mek's body stopped falling. Below him Snout & Extendar, screaming like sissies, plummeted to their ghastly dooms.

    ***

    Though Mekaneck survived, irrepairable damage was done to his neck, and he could no longer extend it further or make it retract back into his body. He was left dragging his head several miles behind him for the rest of his sorry-ass days.

    His fellow heroes, full of contempt, refer to him a Brekaneck, henceforth.
    Last edited by Eternian Poet; January 21, 2012 at 12:50pm.
    ***
    Funny Fan Fic: Meet the Rea-Por! (Heroic & Villainous Deaths) & The Mighty Spector's FIRST EVER FAN-FIC
    & not so funny Fan Fic: War of Attrition
    Trade feedback & WANTED: Bow/SLL style boots!

  4. #29
    Heroic Warrior Eternian-King Paul's Avatar
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    ,,there is nothing wrong with Snout Spout.
    He is awesome.
    Mekaneck is a pointless creation of silly toy makers. Kill him alot.
    ..and Ninjor ..kill him alot more.

  5. #30
    Heroic Warrior Eternian Poet's Avatar
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    Heheh, I don't hate these guys. I love pretty much all of the characters - that's why I kill them!
    ***
    Funny Fan Fic: Meet the Rea-Por! (Heroic & Villainous Deaths) & The Mighty Spector's FIRST EVER FAN-FIC
    & not so funny Fan Fic: War of Attrition
    Trade feedback & WANTED: Bow/SLL style boots!

  6. #31
    Heroic Warrior Eternian Poet's Avatar
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    Swamp-Thing

    A cold chill descended over the dark interior of Snake Mountain. The Lord of Destruction strode into his war-room, his powerful body rippling with tension, as if he might suddenly unleash some foul magic upon the Evil Warriors huddled fearfully around the table.

    "Mermie! Trappy! Kloppy! Beastie!"

    "Yes boss?" the four Evil Warriors replied, their eyes watching each other furtively.

    "I have heard tales that you have been teasing poor Slushie!" The Warriors looked sheepishly at each other, shrugging.

    "Ugh-rar!" roared Beastman. "It was Mermies fault boss! He controlled Slush-Head with his powers, which is why the bathroom is such a mess!"

    "Gurgle! That is a lie, Lord Skeletor! It was Beastman who put the gold-fish in Slushie's dome!"

    "Ur - and I only bit Slush-Head because he kept tickling me," whined Trap-Jaw.

    "I didn't do anything Lord Skeletor!" cried Tri-Klops.

    Skeletor looked furious & raised his fists, "Nnnnnnneargh!" he exploded. "Where is he!? Where is all of Eternia is my new Evil Warrior!?"

    Tri-Klops pointed out a door that led to a passageway beyond the chamber. "I last saw him with Evil-Lyn. He seemed really excited - his dome was filled with bubbles."

    "Fools!" Skeletor yelled & zapped each of them on the backside with a shot of dark-magic. Then he strode out of the door. "Evil-Lyn! Slush-Head! Where are you!?"

    ***

    It didn't take Skeletor long to find his other Evil Warriors. But what he saw was most displeasing.

    "Evil-Lyn!?" Skeletor's jaw dropped open as he looked down at her. She was sitting on the floor next to Slush-Head, who was laid prone and completely still, cold and stiff. "What did you do to him you silly witch!?"

    Evil-Lyn shrugged and pouted. Her cape and boots were wet and Slush-Head's dome was empty. Inside, his bulbous head was shriveled, his eyes sunken and dry. "I couldn't help it Lord Skeletor!" She held out the plug for Slushie's dome. "I just HAD to let all of the water out!"

    From outside Snake-Mountain, a terrible cry was heard: "Nnnnnnneaaaargh...!"
    Last edited by Eternian Poet; June 10, 2012 at 03:03pm.
    ***
    Funny Fan Fic: Meet the Rea-Por! (Heroic & Villainous Deaths) & The Mighty Spector's FIRST EVER FAN-FIC
    & not so funny Fan Fic: War of Attrition
    Trade feedback & WANTED: Bow/SLL style boots!

  7. #32
    Heroic Warrior Joker95's Avatar
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    Do Rotar next!

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