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Thread: What have video games taught you?

  1. #1
    Drinking Innocence TheDeviot's Avatar
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    What have video games taught you?

    I was on another forum, and there was a pretty good thread, so I've borrowed the idea for the gamers of the org.

    What comedic lessons have you learned from your favorite games? These can be things that wouldn't work in the real world but do in the games, or what have you. I'll start with mine, and we'll hopefully keep it going as long as the main gaming thread

    Chivalry taught me a few things over the past year, and a half of playing (On a serious note I think it's an awesome game.)

    1. The human head is made of watermelon. For proof use a Bodkin arrow on the nearest Vanguard's face.

    2. Simply walking behind someone as they do an overhead on someone else will cause you to lose an arm. Tread carefully.

    3. Ranged Medieval weapons like pebbles, spears, and arrows had remote cameras on them.

    4. The Japanese partnered with Nautical Pirates, and sent their Ninjas, and Pirates on expeditions to Northern Ireland to conquer the Vikings.

    5. Getting shot in the thigh by a Ballista won't require amputation, but you will fall on the ground, and bleed out.

    6. Jim Carrey traveled back to Medieval Times to witness someone being hit with an oil pot. This is how he got his "Most annoying sound in the world" for his role in Dumb, and Dumber.

    7. It is totally okay to fake someone out with an alternate swing, but if you make them flinch by cancelling your swing they will accuse you of being able to know binary programming, and using it to cheat your way to the top.

    8. When carrying a sword taller than yourself, you must scream to the top of your lungs, alerting the enemy of your presence.

    9. The Highlander movies were wrong. You can come back after being decapitated.

    10. Malric Terrowin is the greatest threat to the entire kingdom. Until he is possessed by a terrible player.
    Last edited by TheDeviot; February 17, 2014 at 02:47pm. Reason: toned down a joke just in case.
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  2. #2
    Born A Monster wolfsfang's Avatar
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    Funny I can only think of 2 at the moment

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    King Hiss vs Serpentor ksensor's Avatar
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    - Any food you find on the ground is perfectly fine to eat.
    - Bodies of water will kill you instantly.
    - You can litter constantly and nobody cares. Brooms, boots, swords, armor - drop it in the street and everyone will just walk around it.
    - You can kill anything by jumping on its head.
    - After about 30 seconds, everyone stops wondering who just shot their friend.
    - You're not in any real danger unless it's accompanied by swelling music.

    - You're the only person in the world who can leave the room you're in right now. Everyone else is trapped where they are for eternity.

  4. #4
    Heroic Warrior ShowerPowerFrosta's Avatar
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    Alice: The Madness Returns has taught me several important lessons.

    - When in doubt, listen to the cat.

    - Teeth can be used as currency.

    - Don't get on the train.

    - I can turn into a swarm of butterflies!

    - A teapot is an effective weapon.. and a terrifying enemy.

    - A dollhouse is a creepy, yet awesome, place.

    Also Deathsmiles has taught me that Death smiles.. but lolis smile back.

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    Elder of Grayskull flutterina's Avatar
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    The only one I can think of right now is that Resident Evil taught me how to efficiently pack a suitcase.
    "Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."

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    In disguise! Barbecue17's Avatar
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    I should press the action button if I want to drop down.

    It's dangerous to go alone. I should take a sword.
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    Heroic Warrior wyldman11's Avatar
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    You can come back from death as long as it doesn't mess up the plot.
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    Clown Prince of Darkness Benedict Judas Hel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheDeviot View Post
    What have video games taught you?
    They have taught me that life is cheap. You can get 3 lives for a quarter.
    "Wheresoever on earth he dwells, man is prey to two weaknesses: the need to pray and the need to love."-Marquis de Sade

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    Awesome Warrior Alexx's Avatar
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    - If you can't get through an area, then just PLOW THROUGH, because there will be items to refill your life later on. (This one was an answer to my dad back in the day when he was teaching me to drive. He was like "Just pretend it's a video game and avoid all the obstacles" and I was like "well when it gets too hard I just plow through 'cause there's always gona be SOMETHING to refill my health.")

    - A full chicken dinner can be obtained with one good punch through a wall.

    - If you've got extra lives: try anything.

    - Everything will hurt by touching you, but you can't necessarily hurt others by touching them.

    - Avoid spikes.

    - It requires little effort to jump your own height.

    - If someone is flashing, they're close to dying. Get them to a hospital. Unless they're bad.

    - Many enemies will simply fade away when killed, so don't worry about cleaning the mess!

    - RPG rule: if you die in battle, just use an item. If you die outside of battle: you're screwed.
    "Since you got here by not thinking, it seems reasonable to expect that, in order to get out, you must start thinking." ~ Tock, the Watchdog

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  10. #10
    I am that I am Heidi's Avatar
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    1) You can take almost everything. When you visit a friend, you can break his/her pots, take her/his jewelry and fitting clothes and what ever. And if she/he gets grumpy when you do that, just crouch before you start looting.
    2) You can skip dialogue - In some situations the dialogue is just so frivolous. No matter how much of it you listen, the plot of the situation is just a straightforward run through. Luckily you can use the dialogue-sections to take a bathroom break or just skip them by pressing a key.
    3) Achievements are awesome. You should do 50 sit ups at work after lunch and bring your boss flowers each morning just in case there's an achievement given for that action ("15G u doin it wrong" = sit ups after lunch, "35G the creepy guy" = bringing flowers to boss).
    4) In many cases wait for reviews and/or sales - Before going out on a date or even going to work, check out YouTube for early reviews of that said experience. No need to waste time on something metacritic has given an average. Just wait for the Steam Sale in that case.
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    Melaktha For MotUC!! adol's Avatar
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    Born A Monster wolfsfang's Avatar
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    You can easily run / climb / clamber up walls that are 20 feet high but can be completely blocked by ones no higher than your ankle
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    plastic vice Phil.Pastel's Avatar
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    1. Probably improved coordination (particularly with left hand).
    2. Simple is better than complicated. Arcade classics rule.

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    Heroic Master of Puzzles Thatman's Avatar
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    Smash all stationary objects you see. Collect the money they drop. Not only will that make you 'true', but eventually you will have more money than you could possibly spend in a lifetime.
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    Well that was dumb! Is-rael's Avatar
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    Awaiting Spinwit! Swift Wind's Avatar
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    Satyrs are very annoying.

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    Southern-Fried Preacher Dave-Man's Avatar
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    In disguise! Barbecue17's Avatar
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    Supreme Fudge Dynamo of Eternia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Barbecue17 View Post
    All my bases belong to someone else.
    Correction:

    All your bases are belong to someone else.
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    Heroic Warrior Night Stalker's Avatar
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    I learned that I am indeed a bad enough dude to rescue the president from ninjas.
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    Elder of Grayskull flutterina's Avatar
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    In disguise! Barbecue17's Avatar
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    Winners don't use drugs.
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    Heroic Warrior deltadod's Avatar
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  25. #25
    Drinking Innocence TheDeviot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by deltadod View Post
    People don't mind when you go into their homes and smash their pots and open their treasure chests.
    Actually they kind of do
    The Deviot
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    "No matter how hot you think they are, Someone. Somewhere. Is tired of their crap."

    -?

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