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Thread: The Dating Thread -Disasters and Victories

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    The Dating Thread -Disasters and Victories

    Well, since I can't access this one on the forum i'm banned on, how about starting one here?

    Post stories of hope or failure if you've got 'em!

    At this point, I think I may need to start dating out of country. maybe someone from england or scotland will be a little more forgiving than american women who only seem to want someone 6'2, and a 30 day beard on them

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    My "date" and I saw Wonder Woman this last weekend. Had an overall great weekend together hanging out, watching movies and cooking together. Really good weekend.

    Last weekend I went to a large party at a crossfit gym where I didn't know a lot of the people there. It was fine though as I'm very sociable and I had a great time. Was surprised by the amount of cuties that I got some attention from. I think it only happened because I wasn't trying to sell myself or hookup with anyone. I already has a woman that I luvs.

    Only 6'1 and clean shaven here Shreddar, so that can't be it

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    maybe no beard, but you do have height, which helps ;o)

    95% of facebook husbands on my list is either 6'1 or taller or has a beard. kind of weird.
    All my cousins and sister also date the same type of guy who looks like he could either change a ceiling lightbulb with no ladder, or be a line backer. and some of these guys have no personality either. go figure.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shredder View Post
    maybe no beard, but you do have height, which helps ;o)

    95% of facebook husbands on my list is either 6'1 or taller or has a beard. kind of weird.
    All my cousins and sister also date the same type of guy who looks like he could either change a ceiling lightbulb with no ladder, or be a line backer. and some of these guys have no personality either. go figure.
    I've got a wide array of friends. I'll agree, women do like men to be tall, fit, and attractive. But that's not an absolute requirement. Some of my shorter friends have some of the most gorgeous and successful (beautiful inside and out) wives I've ever had the pleasure of meeting.

    At the end of the day, there are some superficial people (male and female) that are all about looks. But for the vast majority of people it all comes down to personality. Personality is what drives chemistry between two people more than anything.

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    Master of DVDs BCI Guy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shredder View Post
    Well, since I can't access this one on the forum i'm banned on, how about starting one here?

    Post stories of hope or failure if you've got 'em!

    At this point, I think I may need to start dating out of country. maybe someone from england or scotland will be a little more forgiving than american women who only seem to want someone 6'2, and a 30 day beard on them
    Do we need to dig up the thread where we spent months trying to get you to ask out the girl at the Doctor's office that appeared to show genuine interest in you only to have you talk yourself out of it Every. Single. Time?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dice View Post
    At the end of the day, there are some superficial people (male and female) that are all about looks. But for the vast majority of people it all comes down to personality. Personality is what drives chemistry between two people more than anything.
    true, but you've gotta break through the looks barrier to get to the personality part. i've got my set look of who i'd like to date too, so i'm guilty of it too ;o)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shredder View Post
    true, but you've gotta break through the looks barrier to get to the personality part. i've got my set look of who i'd like to date too, so i'm guilty of it too ;o)
    Sometimes the best relationships come from people who meet and aren't instantly attracted to one another. They're much less likely to be fake or try to impress the other. That why they both show their true personalities right up front and can help build a much stronger relationship and attraction.

    But looks do help

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    Odd thought for the day. I wonder if saying please and thank you instantly puts you in the boring friend zone, or does it actually help your chances?

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    Master of DVDs BCI Guy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shredder View Post
    Odd thought for the day. I wonder if saying please and thank you instantly puts you in the boring friend zone, or does it actually help your chances?
    You know what will knock you out of the "potential romantic zone" faster than anything?

    Negativity.

    People can feel it.

    Self sabotage too.

    Dude. Say "please", say "thank you". Use your manners. Treat people with respect. Try to keep a positive attitude about yourself and the person you're talking to. Don't seek out the negatives, don't fixate on the flaws.

    People read body language and emotions all the time. Even when they don't realize they're doing it. Come on too strong, they'll freak out a bit an may not even know why. Come off too cool, and they'll get a different bad vibe.

    Absolutely 100% be confident. Not arrogant, but be confident. Believe that you deserve to be where you are. Be the best version of you that you're capable of. Some people will like it, some won't. It works that way for everyone. Even if you're 6'4 and have the perfect beard. Supermodels and top actors have all been dumped. Or brushed off.

    But seriously, if you go in looking for negatives, that's all you will ever find. Try to make the best of any situation. If you have a date and there is no chemistry, you can still have a nice time. And if you don't, so what? Just don't let that baggage drag you down on the next attempt.
    Last edited by BCI Guy; June 16, 2017 at 09:41pm.

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    Just talk to girls with the expectation of making a friend, nothing more. If you can't be friends with the girl, it ain't gonna get better dating 'em.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shredder View Post
    Odd thought for the day. I wonder if saying please and thank you instantly puts you in the boring friend zone, or does it actually help your chances?
    It is an odd thought, because those things are not really related.

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    Clown Prince of Darkness Benedict Judas Hel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BCI Guy View Post
    Do we need to dig up the thread where we spent months trying to get you to ask out the girl at the Doctor's office that appeared to show genuine interest in you only to have you talk yourself out of it Every. Single. Time?
    Well to be accurate, that thread was asking members if we thought the nurse/receptionist at his dermatologist's office was interested in him physically based on his interpretations of their in office/facebook interactions. While most members encouraged him to ask her out based on his interpretations, a few of us felt that he was misunderstood her congenial responses in that professional setting due to his inexperience in interpersonal interactions with the opposite sex. And ultimately, we found out we were correct and he had misread her interest in him.

    Quote Originally Posted by Shredder View Post
    Odd thought for the day. I wonder if saying please and thank you instantly puts you in the boring friend zone, or does it actually help your chances?
    Help your chances with what?

    If your only interest in interacting with females is physical, then they will know this and you will be stuck in the "boring friend zone" as it seems you have been in the past. Women can sense desperation and from what I hear, it's not very appealing to them.
    Last edited by Benedict Judas Hel; June 19, 2017 at 01:45pm.
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    Heroic Master of 200X MegaGearMax's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BCI Guy View Post
    Do we need to dig up the thread where we spent months trying to get you to ask out the girl at the Doctor's office that appeared to show genuine interest in you only to have you talk yourself out of it Every. Single. Time?
    I remember that! Half of the .org was rooting for Shredder! Fun times!!!!
    Last edited by MegaGearMax; June 20, 2017 at 03:22pm.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MegaGearMax View Post
    I remember that! Half of the .org was rooting for Shredder! Fun times!!!!
    do we need to be reminded that when i did decide to ask for a cup of coffee at a shop one day through email, the look of shock and horror i got was all the more reason WHY I kept on trying to talk myself out of it, cause i knew that was the reaction i'd get?

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    Do. Not. Ask. People. Out. Through. Email.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shredder View Post
    do we need to be reminded that when i did decide to ask for a cup of coffee at a shop one day through email, the look of shock and horror i got was all the more reason WHY I kept on trying to talk myself out of it, cause i knew that was the reaction i'd get?
    Well, this is the "dating" disaster thread that you started so I guess you did want people to be reminded...including yourself.
    "Wheresoever on earth he dwells, man is prey to two weaknesses: the need to pray and the need to love."-Marquis de Sade

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shredder View Post
    Well, since I can't access this one on the forum i'm banned on, how about starting one here?

    Post stories of hope or failure if you've got 'em!

    At this point, I think I may need to start dating out of country. maybe someone from england or scotland will be a little more forgiving than american women who only seem to want someone 6'2, and a 30 day beard on them
    Considering that you started the thread I think it only appropriate that you share the first story
    "Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."

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    nothing to tell.

    three dates in highschool. one with same woman. and nothing since then. no luck getting other d ates in highschool. one friend outing ten years ago was a rebound so that doesn't count, especially since she spent one outing talking about the ex non stop. and then the last try was the doctors office lady.

    no success = no confidence.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shredder View Post
    nothing to tell.

    three dates in highschool. one with same woman. and nothing since then. no luck getting other d ates in highschool. one friend outing ten years ago was a rebound so that doesn't count, especially since she spent one outing talking about the ex non stop. and then the last try was the doctors office lady.

    no success = no confidence.

    You can't catch fish if you never go fishing

    And speaking of fish you do, in a sense, need a lure. What qualities of yourself do you think women might find attractive?

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    Clown Prince of Darkness Benedict Judas Hel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dice View Post
    You can't catch fish if you never go fishing
    You can if you buy them at the store
    "Wheresoever on earth he dwells, man is prey to two weaknesses: the need to pray and the need to love."-Marquis de Sade

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    Quote Originally Posted by Benedict Judas Hel View Post
    You can if you buy them at the store
    Those are available....as long as you can afford them

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dice View Post
    You can't catch fish if you never go fishing

    And speaking of fish you do, in a sense, need a lure. What qualities of yourself do you think women might find attractive?
    apparently nothing.

    I feel like i wind up in the friend zone rather quick if not instantly get filed away in that category.

    hardly ever do i get a return look where i think there might be a chance that it'd be worth chatting someone up. most of the time where i fall in love with look at first sight, i usually get ignored with looks on the ground.

    sad part is, I know lots of model quality women that could easily grace the cover of maxum if they wanted too...and while some have threatened to set me up with some of their friends, it never happens. i guess they are worried about loosing the friend ship if it should fail, which i can understand.

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    Clown Prince of Darkness Benedict Judas Hel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dice View Post
    Those are available....as long as you can afford them
    Well, seeing as the O.P. claims that he lacks the ability to attract women physically, the only option I see for him is perhaps to seek the aid of a professional. I would advise him to go to a gentleman's club in order for him to acclimate himself to nude female form, as I am unsure that he has seen one in full presence of himself given his self-professed amorous incapabilities, and I feel it may be overwhelming for him the first time. And in such an environment, he will have no doubts of the intentions of the females working there. They will only want one thing (money) and he will want one thing (nudity). There can be no miscommunications in what either party wants.

    It can also aid him in communicating with females as well. Dancers will often "chat it up" with patrons at the gentleman's club to try to make them feel comfortable and at ease. Perhaps this will help the O.P. with his problems in communicating with females and may boost his confidence as well. And these excursions need not be expensive. Most clubs charge a cover fee and have a 2 drink minimum. So, probably $20-$30 max would be the out of pocket expenses. That's it. Any private dances or tipping of the dancers would be at the O.P.'s discretion.

    This would be my advice to him as it's the only thing I can see that would help him. The only thing I would hope he does not equate is the atmosphere in the gentleman's club and the atmosphere in society. The gentleman's club is a place of employment for the women there and their attitudes should be treated as such. The back and forth communication that may be accepted with the women in the club will most likely not be tolerated once he steps out of the club. It would be my extreme hope that he would realize this if or before he decides to visit such an establishment.
    Last edited by Benedict Judas Hel; June 23, 2017 at 10:58am.
    "Wheresoever on earth he dwells, man is prey to two weaknesses: the need to pray and the need to love."-Marquis de Sade

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    Master of DVDs BCI Guy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shredder View Post
    apparently nothing.

    I feel like i wind up in the friend zone rather quick if not instantly get filed away in that category.

    hardly ever do i get a return look where i think there might be a chance that it'd be worth chatting someone up. most of the time where i fall in love with look at first sight, i usually get ignored with looks on the ground.

    sad part is, I know lots of model quality women that could easily grace the cover of maxum if they wanted too...and while some have threatened to set me up with some of their friends, it never happens. i guess they are worried about loosing the friend ship if it should fail, which i can understand.
    That begs the question "are you only trying to attract "model quality" women?

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