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Thread: Gbagok and Iceman present: The Book of Evil part 2 - The Bells of Doom

  1. #76
    Heroic Warrior maczero's Avatar
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    This was really an enjoyable read! I really mean it! Normally, I lower my expectations when it comes to fan created material but this latest installment was top notch. I actually found it more entertaining than some of the comics I normally buy.

    Really like what you did with Rio Blast. His dialogue and background are very close to how I imagined the character. In my personal canon, I have him as intergalactic law man whose ship crashed on Eternia. I even have a couple of Bravestar elements tied to his background.

    I'm going to miss Longhorn. Great character who went out a hero. That said, don't bring him back! This is war. We've got to have some casaulties including characters we care about.

    I sorta like what you're doing with Jitsu but I'm a little wary about his sense of honor. I don't mind Jitsu being an honorable warrior or even a good guy at one time. I'm just concerned that you're following the MOTUC bio about him being corrupted by evil magic. I'm hoping your Jitsu willingly decided to follow the path that led him to the man he is today.
    Last edited by maczero; September 12, 2012 at 10:34am.
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  2. #77
    Mistress of Meteorbs rhea's Avatar
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    As usual, awesome read and the art has me wishing for figures!!!!!
    Could we get some Meteorbs, Please???!!!

  3. #78
    Court Magician King Grayskull's Avatar
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    Really great Gbagok's, by cons you must worship Bravestarr as am I wrong?

  4. #79
    Heroic Warrior gbagok's Avatar
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    Hi Guys! We're still finishing up some artwork for Ch5 so it'll run just a few days later than planned.

    Quote Originally Posted by 2-bad View Post
    What an Awesome read?1 You sure know how to keep a story strong till the very end.

    Loved the designs. If I may ask was Google Sketchup used to design the new Road Ripper & Loving the Wakko character base off it. But all resdesigns are super as expected.
    Oh nothing that fancy for this one. I only traced and then added to the PandH Road Ripper so that it looked bigger. I love the wheels of that vehicle, and would love to try building it, but I've never used Sketchup.

    Quote Originally Posted by 13977 View Post
    Good new instalment guys. Loved you using Blastar from the UK comics even though you've made him evil. And having a Mintauran as Rio's sidekick fit really well, I just love him, Longhorn has immediately become one of my favourite characters. Also like Slavemaster, like many other Filmation characters you've made this guy a lot cooler for me now.
    Hope we see Twistoid soon now we've seen Rotar.
    Did I miss a line or did you explain why Rio's hair cut changes between pictures?
    Interesting that Rio knows who Teela's mother is and even more interesting that you teased he knows who her real father is as I didn't think even Man-At Arms knew this?
    I should probably add a line, but Rio cut his hair before they set off to save Maybella to make it easier to aim. The idea was he'd been inactive for a while and let his hair grown long. Oh and more on Teela and her real father in the future.

    RE Blastar, I tried alluding to his possibly being under some kind of control at the end when they discussed why he went rogue, but there wasn't a decent place to explore it in the story. Who knows, his wounds may not have been fatal any more than Rio's will be (oh, spoiler).

    Quote Originally Posted by Matthew K View Post
    Good stuff! You guys are actually making me want a Rotar figure now! His characterization is so appealing in this story and I like the way you have added a friendship between him and Rio Blast. I think that's an untapped area of MOTU - just seeing how different lower tier characters interact and how they respond to each other. So much of MOTU is about how the big characters interact with everyone.

    Vakko is a beautiful design. I want a MOTUC version. Did you guys always have him as a fighting Foe Man or did you make him one because he is vehicle themed liked the MOTUC Foe Men set?
    Vakko came about after seeing the Fighting Foe Men. I'd wanted to do a Road Ripper with driver. The original plan was for the Attack Track to be destroyed and the heroes were going to take the Road Ripper to their next stop, but even with the Ripper being bigger it couldn't seat that many riders.

    Quote Originally Posted by kylun flac View Post
    Blast Attack was a bit of a surprise. Specially with all the roomers surrounding the possible MYP story continuation with M@A becoming a snake man & building for King Hisss's army. I think it was the star comics had him come through a dimensional gate that Skeletor summoned for new warriors to work for him. If I remember BA was a gift Skeletor gave to King Hisss with the intention of BA taking Hisss out by blowing himself up.
    I love what you guys are doing with the story & the characters. Jitsu, Melaktha, Batros, Clap Champ, Extendar, Rotar & Rio are real stand out characters now. I absolutely love what you have done with Jitsu's character. He was not well liked for me but the way you have interpreted him he is now a favorite of mine. I still cant get over how cool you have made him & his deep conflicting character. In a way he reminds me of Count Marzo & I like that. I like how he sees himself unlike Skeletors other warriors yet he looses his control & is leveraged just like all the others.
    That is unbelievably cool to hear! All these characters are so fun to play with, even the ones I didn't think would be. I'm so glad anyone at all is liking this, it makes everything worthwhile!

    Quote Originally Posted by maczero View Post
    This was really an enjoyable read! I really mean it! Normally, I lower my expectations when it comes to fan created material but this latest installment was top notch. I actually found it more entertaining than some of the comics I normally buy.

    Really like what you did with Rio Blast. His dialogue and background are very close to how I imagined the character. In my personal canon, I have him as intergalactic law man whose ship crashed on Eternia. I even have a couple of Bravestar elements tied to his background.

    I'm going to miss Longhorn. Great character who went out a hero. That said, don't bring him back! This is war. We've got to have some casaulties including characters we care about.

    I sorta like what you're doing with Jitsu but I'm a little wary about his sense of honor. I don't mind Jitsu being an honorable warrior or even a good guy at one time. I'm just concerned that you're following the MOTUC bio about him being corrupted by evil magic. I'm hoping your Jitsu willingly decided to follow the path that led him to the man he is today.
    No worries, Longhorn is very dead! In fact I had to cut a funeral pyre scene in Mintora because there wasn't time to go there. Jitsu's backstory is that he received power and there is some evil magic there but he chose to use it so it's not like he's not accountable. I think he could still be an antagonist and seek to restore his honor at the same time.

    I'd tried to avoid bringing in Bravestarr elements, but I kept coming back to it for Rio. It's part of a larger shared universe I hope I can fully outline eventually.
    Be sure to read Book of Evil Part 2: The Bells of Doom, only in the He-Man.org Fan Fic & Media forums!
    http://www.he-man.org/forums/boards/...06#post3094406

  5. #80
    Court Magician monstarmaster's Avatar
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    These chapters are really awesome!!! Great work! Especially the appearance and background stories of some snakemen (like Blast Attak) are teriffic. You even made him look more like a snakeman when it comes to his facial features.

    I am looking forward to seeing King Hiss and how he interacts with the other main evil characters. His appearance (as Prince Hiss) regarding the character bios is rather vintage than 2002 style as far as his upper body is concerned, the rest of the body is 2002 style. King Hiss however looks 2002 inspired in his biography pic. Interesting concept all in all. However, I like his mini-comic face in "King of the Snakemen" best as it really looks human and shows detailled expressions of anger, hate or anticipation...just a matter of taste I guess.

    Keep up the great quality!!

    Your fan

    mm
    Last edited by monstarmaster; September 19, 2012 at 08:45pm.

  6. #81
    Heroic Warrior michaelAschamp's Avatar
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    I just wanted to go ahead and say that you both have totally rocked this out! You guys have made the universe so much more interesting than the original cannon! With all that said, Mr. gbagok, your Blast Attack makes more sense style wise and fits into the Snake Men more realisticly now, with the snake features! I do have a question for you, do you plan on doing bios for all these character's when all this is eventually done? I know that alot of the characters have been done already, but the others that were introduced in your stories, "IE", Blastar, LongHorn, Extendar's adopted son's, and the whole slew of life you all brought! Just wondering, due to your Bios being a great high-Light of mine and many other's!

  7. #82
    Court Magician monstarmaster's Avatar
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    What about the next chapter? When will it be online?

  8. #83
    Asp'r the Contrarian SnakeMenPriest's Avatar
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    Give them a year.


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  9. #84
    It says ICEMAN oICEMANo's Avatar
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    Ho Ho, funny guy.

    If you must know, I have been holding up production in order to complete a deadline for my studio's first full length graphic novel http://oicemano.deviantart.com/art/T...Expo-330325407

    Unfortunately this week has been very hectic organising the printing and launch details (we're launching this weekend) so I will only be back on track with BOE next week. I imagine the next chapter will be up either by the end of next week or the following Monday. I do apologise but rest assured the next chapter will be here this year...
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  10. #85
    Horde Hoodie iron bear's Avatar
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    Just want to say a big thank you to you both for the excellent story and artwork. You both have such busy lifes with the work you both do and I think everyone on here appreciates it!!!! Once again thanks and keep up the good work

  11. #86
    Court Magician monstarmaster's Avatar
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    I would like to read the next chapter tomorrow please!

    Cheers

    mm

  12. #87
    Heroic Warrior Trodorne's Avatar
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    Good Job as always guys!
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  13. #88
    Heroic Warrior gbagok's Avatar
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    Hi Guys, sorry for this delay. We're still working on the next 4 chapters (now 5 actually). As an appetizer, here's two updated unofficial bios that may be relevant later.


    Be sure to read Book of Evil Part 2: The Bells of Doom, only in the He-Man.org Fan Fic & Media forums!
    http://www.he-man.org/forums/boards/...06#post3094406

  14. #89
    Gaul Warrior danbrenus's Avatar
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    Pure greatness...
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  15. #90
    Heroic Warrior Alleyezon4's Avatar
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    Hey G, do you have the cropped versions of the 2 updated bios? Just curious.....awesome work as always!!!
    I'm a huge MOTU fan and am learning more and more about the MOTU franchise the more I come to this site.

  16. #91
    Lightning League Leader kylun flac's Avatar
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    good to see changes on the Vikor & Scareglow bios.
    Been waiting with much anticipation for the new chapters form your story Book of Evil.
    Skeleton-Warriors, Ra-Jar, Lizard-Man, Spinwit, Rock Golem, Evil Seed, Lord Masque, Prahvus, General Tartaran, Hawke, Slob-Boar, King Agho, Hunga the Harpy, Sh'gora, Nocturna, Masks of Power Demons, Horde Wraiths, Crimson Fury, Lodar, Vizar, Angast, Negator, Snake Armor He-Man

  17. #92
    Court Magician monstarmaster's Avatar
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    What about an update? I am dying to read the next chapter!

    Please upload it very soon...

    Your fan
    mm

  18. #93
    Hexcellent Horror Hostess
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    I finally got around to re-reading all the previous stories. It'd been awhile! The reading fun culminated in this new tale! You gents have done a SUPERB job here, and this one looks to be the best story yet (and I've enjoyed them ALL).

    I really like the way in which you're weaving things together, giving glimpses into Eternia's mysterious and epic past, bringing in lore and characters from ALL over, and fleshing out characters who weren't really explored much in the old days. The artwork and designs are excellent as well!

    Big thumbs up from me. I'm enjoying this a great deal and can't wait to read the rest!
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  19. #94
    Lightning League Leader kylun flac's Avatar
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    Is there any chance that MOTU fan's are getting any holiday surprises?

    By the way I must give you guys credit on your interpretation of Jitsu. Hands down your bio is far better to that of Mattels bio. I do however like the idea of him succeeding Skeletor when he travels to Primus. How would be left to lead after Skeletor?

    Have a great holiday.
    Skeleton-Warriors, Ra-Jar, Lizard-Man, Spinwit, Rock Golem, Evil Seed, Lord Masque, Prahvus, General Tartaran, Hawke, Slob-Boar, King Agho, Hunga the Harpy, Sh'gora, Nocturna, Masks of Power Demons, Horde Wraiths, Crimson Fury, Lodar, Vizar, Angast, Negator, Snake Armor He-Man

  20. #95
    Court Magician monstarmaster's Avatar
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    Christmas present?

    Will the next part of BOE be a X-mas present so that we will be able to read it on Dec. 25th gbagok?

  21. #96
    Heroic Warrior gbagok's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kylun flac View Post
    Is there any chance that MOTU fan's are getting any holiday surprises?
    Quote Originally Posted by monstarmaster View Post
    Will the next part of BOE be a X-mas present so that we will be able to read it on Dec. 25th gbagok?
    I'll have something up on the 25th. Probably not the next chapter, but something. Sorry for the wait!
    Be sure to read Book of Evil Part 2: The Bells of Doom, only in the He-Man.org Fan Fic & Media forums!
    http://www.he-man.org/forums/boards/...06#post3094406

  22. #97
    Lightning League Leader kylun flac's Avatar
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    Its cool this month is crazy for all of us.
    Skeleton-Warriors, Ra-Jar, Lizard-Man, Spinwit, Rock Golem, Evil Seed, Lord Masque, Prahvus, General Tartaran, Hawke, Slob-Boar, King Agho, Hunga the Harpy, Sh'gora, Nocturna, Masks of Power Demons, Horde Wraiths, Crimson Fury, Lodar, Vizar, Angast, Negator, Snake Armor He-Man

  23. #98
    Heroic Warrior Clawful94's Avatar
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    I just read the last chapter again, just because it was so awesome. I hope that we haven't seen the last of Rio-Blast and Maybella Star. It was nice to finally get a portrayal of Rio-Blast and Rotar that is memorable. I had always wandered who they would be portrayed in Filmation or Mike Young's Cartoons. Really liked the characters of Boa Whip, Vakko and Longhorn. Very sad to see that Longhorn died. It was nice to see Blastar, hope that we see him and Vakko again as well. Hope to see Rokkon, Stonedar, Snout Spout, Two Bad and Dragstor make appearances in upcoming chapters. Thank you both for everything that you do for us fans and have a happy holiday.

  24. #99
    Heroic Warrior gbagok's Avatar
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    I hope everyone has had a Merry Christmas!

    Third Interval

    Keldor watches as the cloaked stranger enters the audience chamber of the Great Eye. Keldor can hardly recognize the man, but he thinks he recalls the name Mah-Tyn being said earlier. The stranger who might be Mah-Tyn reaches the cradle of the mystic sword and after a brief pause pulls it free. The chamber groans as unseen mechanisms come to life, turning and toiling behind the walls like slaves awakened to begin mindless labor. Then the iris of the Great Eye begins to open.

    Mah-Tyn chortles to himself. "There now, my dear, do you see? We who were shunned for our cunning will soon be rewarded for our patience!"

    Keldor looks around but sees no other with Mah-Tyn. The other Elders have all gone, and Keldor is sure Mah-Tyn cannot see him or his nameless companion.

    "Is he insane,” Keldor asks the Nameless One. “Who does he think he's talking to?"

    The Nameless One sniffs the air. "There is another presence here."

    "Who? More like us? From the future?"

    "Hardly like us,” the Nameless One sneers. “Keep watching."



    Keldor looks at the widening Eye. The red star that had once been the Book of Evil glares angrily on the other side. Mah-Tyn chants alien words and raises the sword like a conductor commanding his orchestra. Something like dust flies out of the red star and sweeps swiftly across space to the threshold of the Great Eye, becoming recognizable as square of paper as they approach. Like a flock of birds the enter the great hall and flutter around Mah-Tyn excitedly. Keldor can almost hear demon’s cackling, as if the pages are alive and celebrating their release. He realizes suddenly they came from the Book.

    "Pages?! He came to steal pages?" The Nameless One doesn’t answer. “Is this how it begins then? Did the Elders corrupt themselves with these pages? I knew it! Those fat old hypocrites! They persecuted my people for this very act!”

    “The deed is not yet done, Keldor,” the Nameless One intones.

    They watch as Mah-Tyn puts down the sword and collects the pages from the air as they encircle him like moths clustering around a flame. "Ah yes, these are the pages we seek! The Spell of Separation! It's only a matter of building the device to channel the power! With it I'll crack this planet like an egg and sup from the golden honey within!" He is so pleased with himself that he fails to notice the sword starting to slide away from him as if he’d set it down on an icy incline. Suddenly it flies across the chamber in the hands of Keclar who stands in the open door with his council.

    "Traitor! I knew one of our own might be tempted to access the Book's power. But you, Mah-Tyn?"

    Mah-Tyn's face falls and quickly breaks into a scowl. "This surprises you, Keclar? You who always reminded me of my shortcomings? You who ignored my advice to use the book's power against its master?! But I've waited long enough for my recognition. Procrustus will yield the Starseed to me, or I'll rip him and his precious Eternia asunder!"

    "Never," Kelcar breathes in abject horror. "Never!" He unleashes a volley of his own power at Mah-Tyn, who shields himself with the flying pages--swooping to his defense in a protective swarm. Keclar's power incinerates several pages but none of his magic touches Mah-Tyn.

    "Fool," Mah-Tyn laughs in a much deeper and fell voice than before. "You think this lowly one could resist me? He is mine now like all the others!"

    Keclar gasps. "Nordor!"

    A laugh much darker than before emerges from Mah-Tyn who begins to transform and grow. His face becomes terrible and monsterous, with sharp fangs and horns ripping from the skin. "Much more than that, Keclar. I am beyond that name now. I am not one now but many! The power of the good is nothing without the way of the magic. I will have your pitiful band of helpers. Those who do not submit will feed me with their blood!"



    "Together," Keclar yells to his followers and the council raises their hands to unleash their magic upon the great fiend before them. Mah-Tyn is gone, only a hideous inhuman form remains with menacing tentacles and a face full of jagged teeth. Keclar leads the charge against it and brings the magic sword to bear against one of the flailing tentacles. The strike of sword and flesh is like thunder, sending a shock-wave rippling through the crowd. Keclar falls backwards but his allies surround him and continue their assault on the Beast.

    Keldor sees the sword on the ground, shattered into three large pieces, but the council continues to direct their magical powers at the monster that had been Mah-Tyn, driving it back step by step. The pages Mah-Tyn had summoned suddenly fly up into the high ceiling of the chamber and scatter into the shadows like rats escaping a fire. Kelcar sees them but commands the others to stay focused on their Enemy. Next Keldor sees the gash upon the monster's limb left by the Sword. It glow green like the sword that made it, and as the attack continues the green light spread like an infection. The monster screams in pain as the injured limb turns brittle and shatters like glass, then vanishes in the air like crumbling dust. The green magic continues to grow and claim more limbs until the beast is armless and staggering back towards the Great Eye.

    In fear the monster cowers at the approach of the council, but then its face goes terrible and it bites out, "You think you've defeated me?!" The voice is still inhuman, but raspy and injured. "But Evil is my power, and Evil cannot die! Behold, the Great Eye, the portal to all the universe! You have only served to spread my power to yet another corner of creation. Follow me if you dare! I shall claim more hosts, gain more power, and then come back for your children!" And then it turns and throws what remains of its body through the Great Eye, vanishing into the cosmos beyond. The elders are too late to stop it, and seeing the battle over they gather around the broken sword.

    "Can it be mended," asks one as he picks up a shard.

    "Stop, Hek-Tor," Keclar warns and the other drops the shard with a cry of pain as if he'd been burned by a hot iron. The shard lands on the ground crackling with a magic that turns it from green to purple. "That shard took the brunt of Evil's power. It's contaminated now to its heart." He looks at Hek-Tor Kur's hand and grunts. "We shall have to mend that quickly," he sighs.

    Hek-Tor Kur shakes his head. "But the sword...we needed it to channel the powers given to us by the Ancients. If even it can be corrupted by Evil, then we--"

    "Peace, Kur,” Kelcar says calmly. “The Ancients have not abandoned us.”

    “Nor is the sword fully lost either,” says a woman of great beauty. Keldor had not seen her before, but she is not like the others, seeming to glow slightly with a light of her own. She stoops beside the broken shards, one purple and dim and the other glistening so brightly it is almost white. She picks up first the brighter shard, then the dark, and unlike Hek-Tor Kur is unharmed. The others gasp.

    “You have power over evil,” says Kur in astonishment.

    “Not at all,” she laughs. “This third sword is protecting me. In corrupting a piece of the sword, it has rendered another impervious to its ill effects. There has not been a force so pure as this since Eternia was young.” One of the men, younger than the white-beards and with the wide frame of a fighting savage man, touches her shoulder nervously and somewhat protectively.

    He says, “Powerful as these shards may be, they are none of them whole swords. Shalda has shown us their power, Kelcar, but how can we wield them?”



    Keclar nods. “A fair point, Torrak.” and turns to a large Mintoran who towers over the other elders. "Tor-Ro, my friend. You are the master of metal and mechanics. Can we trust you to salvage these pieces?"

    Tor-Ro examines the two touchable shards of the sword after the woman Shalda puts down the corrupted piece. A moment later he groans. “I can construct a shell for these two, but what of the third? I dare not harness a sword that could unite the powers of Evil and the Ancients both.”

    Keclar sighs. "Leave it, all of you. I must consult with the Ancients to determine how best to dispose of it. The Sword may never be whole again, but I trust that even this was foreseen."
    Hek-Tor Kur seems to be the only one unsatisfied by Keclar’s words and begins to protest again, but a different white-bearded elder reproaches him gently.

    "You forget, Kur. This was never about a sword--or even three. The power of the Ancients is the power within ourselves. Evil has been greatly diminished by his defeat today. He cannot remake himself without a host. He used the Eye as an escape route, but the Book remains beyond his reach. He dares not follow it or risks being trapped along with it."

    Kur sneers at the old man. “You are faithful to a fault, Eldor. Evil has gained the one thing we sought to take from him--time! He continues to survive, in forms we ourselves failed to protect. Who is to say Mah-Tyn was his only host? And what is to stop his return? The Great Eye is now unlocked!”



    “A door can have many keys,” Keclar says and raises his staff to the Great Eye. He calls on two others to help him, the Kings of Targa and Zalecia, who join him with their own staffs upheld. The three combined seem to enchant the Great Eye, and it begins to close once more.

    “That’s it,” Keldor cries. “That’s the staff of Zalecia!” Suddenly the scene grows dim and Keldor feels himself being pulled away. "No! What are you doing! The Staff was there!"

    The scene around them changes to a rocky cliff where suddenly Keldor feels the heat of the Eternian sun on him and the hardness of the ground beneath him. Strange, he had not thought himself weightless before, but now he felt as if he’d been floating all along. "Where is this?”

    “This, Keldor, is where I leave you.”

    “What?! You can’t! I--I don’t even know where I am! When I am!”

    “You are not long after the events you have just witnessed. As for where, you are precisely where you are supposed to be.”

    “And where is that?”

    The Nameless One points to the mountains in the distance where a small bead of light glistens like a fallen star. “Your journey will begin there.”

    “What journey? Are you insane? I thought you brought me here to help me, not abandon me!”

    “Do not become a fool, Keldor. You’ll embarrass us both. You are here to fulfill your destiny--and it will begin out there. The staff is your objective but it is not the only boon you will gain. When you have the staff, I will come for you again. " He vanishes, leaving Keldor alone in the wasteland of ancient Pre-Eternia and a very very long walk ahead of him.

    Be sure to read Book of Evil Part 2: The Bells of Doom, only in the He-Man.org Fan Fic & Media forums!
    http://www.he-man.org/forums/boards/...06#post3094406

  25. #100
    Heroic Warrior maczero's Avatar
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    430
    Good stuff but I have to admit I forgot how these characters and side story relate to the ongoing. It's because it's been a fairly long break in between chapters. Is it possible to post weekly or at least monthly installments?
    Do you need to buy, sell or rent a home in Northern VA, then contact me at varealtor1@verizon.net

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