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Thread: What do you do about THAT person?

  1. #1
    Heroic Warrior Sky Breaker's Avatar
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    What do you do about THAT person?

    You know those people that just seem to make everything more difficult? I have one of those, and each day it gets a little worse. I like my job, and the people I work with are an energetic, helpful, friendly group. However, there is this 1 girl who is a clone of a crazy, miserable, useless girl who I cut out of my life a long time ago. It only took me a few hours to notice the similarities between them. I nearly made the mistake of calling her by this other girls name.

    She is your typical, immature, miserable, mid twenties girl. She whines constantly about every little thing the job entails, like if the phone rings too much, or someone around her is speaking too loudly. She cannot finish a shift without stating "I hate ....." 3-7 times, which is usually followed up with an "eeeewww". "I hate Subway", "I hate bananas" "I hate people", and after several conversations beginning with or ending with "I hate" came the hilarious "I don't know why I'm single". She jumps at every opportunity to correct someone when they are wrong, but fails to step up and help when things are busy, and there are tasks to be completed that require a little consideration for others coworkers.

    She is also an "internet kid" and during her downtime, she constantly reads blogs, Icanhazcheeseburger and all that other mindless meme filth on the internet, which she is compelled to share with everyone. She talks in 'baby talk' when she likes something, and makes vomiting noises when she doesn't like something. Which to date is about 20 things. She also loves to complain about her room mate, whom she hates. At first, I felt bad for her, but then after getting to know her, I sincerely doubt her roommate is that bad. If anything, the poor girl is probably tortured on a daily basis. A typical day with her, would probably be similar to a day with a socially inept, selfish 14 year old with serious anger issues. I want to poor cement in her mouth, just to make her shut up.

    I feign interest in her, because having 0 conversation with her would be awkward, but speaking with her is just like listening to a gull. The problem is, she does her job effectively, and is pleasant to our clients. We all have personal quirks, dislikes and ways of expressing ourselves, but if I could record her, and play her to any of you, you'd understand. She is also sweet to upper management, so its just the staff that interact with her that have to listen to her constant misery. They just see a friendly, productive employee.

    So what's the best way to approach this issue?
    Last edited by Sky Breaker; April 10, 2013 at 05:37am.

  2. #2
    Master of Shapeways He-bro's Avatar
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    Kill with kindness. Be so over kind to her that it almost gets sickening sweet.

    Most of her problems sounds like they stem from childhood issues of not belonging. Baby talk is a sign of a tragic event as a child, that has stunted parts of her emotional growth. The "I hate" is also a sign of the same issue, just like a 2 year old who hates their peas. She is trying her best to fit in, and it's her coping method. After about a week of everyone being super accepting, she will let her guard, and be able to grow up and act like the other adults around her.

    If no perceivable change is detected after a week of being overly kind to her, and she takes it all in, then most likely she has borderline personality disorder, and there is nothing you can do to cahnge that, she will consume all the extra attention you have given her and it still will not be enough.

    http://www.amazon.ca/Borderline-Pers...8252182&sr=8-1

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderl...ality_disorder

  3. #3
    Master of New Adventures!
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    Imo the best way to approach this is to first realize that you're spending an inordinate amount of time on someone you not only don't care about but actually dislike -- look how long it took you to write this post. Why waste your valuable time on her or even thinking about her? You seem to have compiled more information about and have more opinions of this disagreeable person than you could have compiled and formed opinions about someone else in the office that's positive, attractive and possibly interested in you.

    If your office is large enough, just disassociate with her -- i.e., stay in another part, hang with other co-workers. If it's unavoidable that you come into contact with her then don't become even tangentially a part of her life -- don't waste your time reflecting on how she kisses up to her boss or corrects others. Why should you care how she acts? You're in an office environment, not stuck sitting in a window seat next to some irritating idiot on twenty-hour flight to India.

    I would also suggest that you draw considerable solace from the fact she she has to wake up each morning and be herself while you get to wake up each morning and be you. Then turn your attention to other far more important matters that you've neglected because you've spent so much time on this worthless person...like noticing that positive and attractive of yours has been trying to make eye contact with you for the last three weeks.


    Quote Originally Posted by Sky Breaker View Post
    You know those people that just seem to make everything moredifficult? I have one of those, and each day it gets a little worse. I like my job, and the people I work with are an energetic, helpful, friendly group. However, there is this 1 girl who is a clone of a crazy, miserable, useless girl who I cut out of my life a long time ago. It only took me a few hours to notice the similarities between them. I nearly made the mistake of calling her by this other girls name.

    She is your typical, immature, miserable, mid twenties girl. She whines constantly about every little thing the job entails, like if the phone rings too much, or someone around her is speaking too loudly. She cannot finish a shift without stating "I hate ....." 3-7 times, which is usually followed up with an "eeeewww". "I hate Subway", "I hate bananas" "I hate people", and after several conversations beginning with or ending with "I hate" came the hilarious "I don't know why I'm single". She jumps at every opportunity to correct someone when they are wrong, but fails to step up and help when things are busy, and there are tasks to be completed that require a little consideration for others coworkers.

    She is also an "internet kid" and during her downtime, she constantly reads blogs, Icanhazcheeseburger and all that other mindless meme filth on the internet, which she is compelled to share with everyone. She talks in 'baby talk' when she likes something, and makes vomiting noises when she doesn't like something. Which to date is about 20 things. She also loves to complain about her room mate, whom she hates. At first, I felt bad for her, but then after getting to know her, I sincerely doubt her roommate is that bad. If anything, the poor girl is probably tortured on a daily basis. A typical day with her, would probably be similar to a day with a socially inept, selfish 14 year old with serious anger issues. I want to poor cement in her mouth, just to make her shut up.

    I feign interest in her, because having 0 conversation with her would be awkward, but speaking with her is just like listening to a gull. The problem is, she does her job effectively, and is pleasant to our clients. We all have personal quirks, dislikes and ways of expressing ourselves, but if I could record her, and play her to any of you, you'd understand. She is also sweet to upper management, so its just the staff that interact with her that have to listen to her constant misery. They just see a friendly, productive employee.

    So what's the best way to approach this issue?
    Last edited by Heeeere's Olesker!; January 25, 2013 at 07:18pm.

  4. #4
    Clown Prince of Darkness Benedict Judas Hel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sky Breaker View Post
    So what's the best way to approach this issue?
    I'd just go about doing my job and go home at the end of the day. That's what I always do.
    "Wheresoever on earth he dwells, man is prey to two weaknesses: the need to pray and the need to love."-Marquis de Sade

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  5. #5
    Master of New Adventures!
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    On the other hand, sometimes if you give a really irritating person long enough then it turns out you can tolerate them and maybe eventually even come to like them.

    Case in point: Benny.


    Quote Originally Posted by Benedict Judas Hel View Post
    I'd just go about doing my job and go home at the end of the day. That's what I always do.

  6. #6
    No more OT Dice's Avatar
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    I'm not as nice as these guys. I'm assuming you've been putting up with this for a while being "nice". At some point I personally would show my displeasure at listening to her. You don't have to be mean, just get up and leave when she starts up. If she asks just say that puke noises and baby babble aren't your thing. And that you're already aware of all the things she hates because she tells everyone over and over. Be as calm and soft about it as possible. If you can't without getting even slightly heated, then don't.

    The work ethic is something just have to live with unless they work for you. I personally refuse to put up with rudeness if I absolutely don't have to.

    You know, I wrote that in a hurry thinking about someone I was mean to at work. They deserved it. Your coworker probably doesn't so ditch my advice.
    Last edited by Dice; January 25, 2013 at 09:47pm.

  7. #7
    Heroic Warrior rankinman's Avatar
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    I say hit her between the eyes. And when she's standing there with that surprised look on her face, tell her why, I'm not saying to be mean. But tell her she's a pain in the a$$ and the tell her why. She will either realize that she needs to make some adjustments or never speak to you again.
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  8. #8
    Clown Prince of Darkness Benedict Judas Hel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heeeere's Olesker! View Post
    On the other hand, sometimes if you give a really irritating person long enough then it turns out you can tolerate them and maybe eventually even come to like them.

    Case in point: Benny.
    "Wheresoever on earth he dwells, man is prey to two weaknesses: the need to pray and the need to love."-Marquis de Sade

    "It is not by reasoning or by our understanding that we have received our religion; it is by external authority and command."-Michel De Montaigne

    Heretical Vintage Purist and Non-Fan Extraordinaire!

  9. #9
    Heroic Warrior mollusc herald's Avatar
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    Try to spend less time with her if you can.

    She is immature- When I was brattier than I am now, I had it pointed to me how negative and whiny my speech behavior was/is.
    If you are tactful and empathetic enough you can help negative people by showing them a mirror. Even if their pride stands in the way, important people can reach those who need help (or a spanking).
    You are articulate and caring about people so try and couch some constructive criticism as possibly as you can for her. I.E.- "I understand where your coming from, but when someone who doesn't know you as well as I do may take what/how you say what you do in a negative way... you may be hurting yourself needlessly".

    If she isn't receptive try and spend less of youe energy on her, you can find positive people that help build you up.

  10. #10
    Refreshing Midwinter's Avatar
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    Life would be boring if you didn't run in to a person like this every now and then. Enjoy her while you have her.

    I mean she might be freaked out by you too. You do have an avatar of a cake with dominatrix cake toppers. Not that there is anything wrong with that...
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  11. #11
    Eternian Ice Man ICER's Avatar
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    Does anyone else in your work space feel the same?Hell try to find something she likes.Maybe you 2 might have something that you both like and you can talk about that.This would deflect her negative tone at least when your around her!
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  12. #12
    Master of New Adventures!
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    Offer 'constructive criticism'?

    With all due respect, unsolicited advise is kind of like virginity -- a gift generally more highly regarded by the donor than the recipient.

    Quote Originally Posted by mollusc herald View Post
    Try to spend less time with her if you can.

    She is immature- When I was brattier than I am now, I had it pointed to me how negative and whiny my speech behavior was/is.
    If you are tactful and empathetic enough you can help negative people by showing them a mirror. Even if their pride stands in the way, important people can reach those who need help (or a spanking).
    You are articulate and caring about people so try and couch some constructive criticism as possibly as you can for her. I.E.- "I understand where your coming from, but when someone who doesn't know you as well as I do may take what/how you say what you do in a negative way... you may be hurting yourself needlessly".

    If she isn't receptive try and spend less of youe energy on her, you can find positive people that help build you up.

  13. #13
    Heroic Warrior Sky Breaker's Avatar
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    If you work in a sewer pipe long enough, you eventually become accustomed to the smell, but it doesn't make the **** stink any less vile.

    Tonight was our first night working together, with no other employees as a buffer. I smiled I laughed, and I pandered to her typical mindless Internet garbage. There were a few topics we had a mutual interest in, but for the most part, it was superficial yacking between tasks.

    Then came the moment where she snapped at me over absolutely nothing. But what was this you ask? (I looked up an address and confirmed the name of the place, which she felt was an insignificant detail), and told me that I need to shut up and not bother her.

    Yeah, that is how much respect she has for me. I very calmly, and politely told her to calm down and relax, its not worth fighting over and she instantly said "You need to not tell me what to do" in the most snarly, rude tone. She is a downright, nasty little condescending, (insert slew of words here) and I refuse to be spoken to in such a way.

    I walked away and remained away for the remainder of the shift. Tomorrow I am having a meeting with management to discuss their options. It was either that or punch her right in her crooked, snarly little face and let the chips fall where they may.

    Quote Originally Posted by Midwinter View Post
    Life would be boring if you didn't run in to a person like this every now and then. Enjoy her while you have her.

    I mean she might be freaked out by you too. You do have an avatar of a cake with dominatrix cake toppers. Not that there is anything wrong with that...
    So far everyone else seems to enjoy me, and are commending me for my enthusiastic, helpful, selfless personality, and willingness to deal with multiple departments and various people in a timely professional fashion.
    Last edited by Sky Breaker; January 28, 2013 at 01:29am.

  14. #14
    Heroic Warrior mollusc herald's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heeeere's Olesker! View Post
    Offer 'constructive criticism'?

    With all due respect, unsolicited advise is kind of like virginity -- a gift generally more highly regarded by the donor than the recipient.
    You are correct. I was running off at the mouth. Advice really has to be genuinely sought to be offered.
    I apologize Sky Breaker.
    I hope you can get some distance from that co worker who is so negative.

  15. #15
    Eternian Sorcerer zodak74's Avatar
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    Making management aware of the awkwardness of working with her is a step in the right direction. It might not resolve anything (oh if only people DID get fired for being useless, irritating, and overtly negative!), but it will at least get it off your chest and you'll know that you tried to do "something" about it. Sometimes venting to a boss (if you have that sort of relationship with them) feels really great, as long as you can give an even-handed rundown on what goes on during a typical shift with a problem person, and don't get overdramatic or worked up about it while you're relaying information. Maybe they can have a meeting with HER, and discuss her personality issues and let her know that she needs to curb her behavior because she is making herself very unpleasant to deal with at work. Her behavior at work, to put it mildly, sounds pretty unprofessional. Putting her face through a wall isn't really an option if you want to keep your own job and stay out of jail
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  16. #16
    Born A Monster wolfsfang's Avatar
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    you could always marry them
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  17. #17
    Heroic Warrior
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfsfang View Post
    you could always marry them

    agreed. after all they say opposites attract.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by midor View Post
    agreed. after all they say opposites attract.
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  19. #19
    Heroic Warrior Sky Breaker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zodak74 View Post
    Making management aware of the awkwardness of working with her is a step in the right direction. It might not resolve anything (oh if only people DID get fired for being useless, irritating, and overtly negative!), but it will at least get it off your chest and you'll know that you tried to do "something" about it. Sometimes venting to a boss (if you have that sort of relationship with them) feels really great, as long as you can give an even-handed rundown on what goes on during a typical shift with a problem person, and don't get overdramatic or worked up about it while you're relaying information. Maybe they can have a meeting with HER, and discuss her personality issues and let her know that she needs to curb her behavior because she is making herself very unpleasant to deal with at work. Her behavior at work, to put it mildly, sounds pretty unprofessional. Putting her face through a wall isn't really an option if you want to keep your own job and stay out of jail
    So a final update. She has violated some other company policies,and she snapped at another coworker while we were on shift together. After meeting with management and discussing the issue, she is under review. I guess lousy people eventually get whats coming to them, if someone is willing to stand up and say "Hey, you can't treat others like this."

    Thanks for posting guys.

  20. #20
    Eternian Sorcerer zodak74's Avatar
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    Cheers to a happy ending!
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  21. #21
    Eternian Ice Man ICER's Avatar
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    Hopefully they will give her a "shape up or ship out ultimatum!"
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  22. #22
    Master of New Adventures!
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    Time wounds all heels.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sky Breaker View Post
    So a final update. She has violated some other company policies,and she snapped at another coworker while we were on shift together. After meeting with management and discussing the issue, she is under review. I guess lousy people eventually get whats coming to them, if someone is willing to stand up and say "Hey, you can't treat others like this."

    Thanks for posting guys.

  23. #23
    Lightning League Leader kylun flac's Avatar
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    yeah, those that are pessimistic, constant complainers bother me too. very selfish & rude. whats wrong with doing your job? what wrong with people? really?!
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