View Poll Results: What Is The Most Depressing Bachelor Food?

Voters
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  • Three Meals of Ramen A Day

    7 46.67%
  • Last Week's Pizza

    0 0%
  • Canned Vienna Sausages

    2 13.33%
  • Panda Express Eaten By Hand Over The Sink

    1 6.67%
  • Taco Bell Leavings

    0 0%
  • Fish Sticks In The George Foreman Grill

    1 6.67%
  • Pizza In The George Foreman Grill

    0 0%
  • Ran Out Of Milk Poured Beer In The Cereal

    1 6.67%
  • Scraping Mould Off The Bread Because "It's Just Penicillin."

    2 13.33%
  • Scraping Mould Off The Cheese Because "It's Just Bleu Cheese."

    0 0%
  • Deep-Fried Breaded Bacon

    0 0%
  • Shove All The Leftovers In A Pan, Cover With Ketchup, Microwave.

    1 6.67%
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: What's The Most Depressing Bachelor Food?

  1. #1
    Heroic Warrior Ridureyu's Avatar
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    What's The Most Depressing Bachelor Food?

    When you're single, or a toy collector, or both, you just might experience that terrible combination of poverty and laziness known as BACHELOR FOOD. It's not a matter of eating what you want, it's a matter of... "eh. It's cheap. Don't wanna cook." And sometimes this is... sad. Like, why not just starve?

    So hey, let's try to figure out what the worst is! I... ping-pong a bit. One week, I might spend an entire day prepping a Morroccan stew. The next week, I eat peanut butter and sadness. I'm sure some of us have worse stories, but... hey! Why not?


    Three Meals of Ramen A Day

    Ramen noodles are cheap. So cheap, in fact, that they saved Japan in its post-war recession. But Man Cannot Live on Noodles Alone, especially if he's so cheap that he buys unflavored noodles for his daily meals.


    Last Week's Pizza

    Even if it tastes like cardboard, pizza has an expiration date. But to many bachelors... it's good forever.


    Canned Vienna Sausages

    There is just something about these flavorless, sandy, gelatinous wads of "meat" stewing in their own congealed grease that says, "I don't care what I eat. I am about to hang myself with a sock."


    Panda Express Eaten By Hand Over The Sink

    So, your work fed everyody with Panda Express. being a bachelor, you volunteered to bring the "Chinese" food home. And how do you eat it? You grab a handful of honey chicken straight from the fridge and eat it over the sink so you won't have to dirty a plate. And it is garnished by your tears.


    Taco Bell Leavings

    You're a bachelor. Taco Bell is a feast. But somehow, some lettuce and cheese always falls out of the taco. So hey, why not keep it and make another meal out of it?


    Fish Sticks In The George Foreman Grill

    Because I don't wanna use the oven.


    Pizza In The George Foreman Grill

    Because I don't wanna have happiness.


    Ran Out Of Milk Poured Beer In The Cereal

    The only thing possibly disqualifying this is that you did indeed possess milk at one point.


    Scraping Mould Off The Bread Because "It's Just Penicillin."

    This varies. Some of the older generations, such as ones who lived through The Great Depression, may subscribe to this. But affluent modern Americans, even during the current recession, really have no excuse.


    Scraping Mould Off The Cheese Because "It's Just Bleu Cheese."

    I used to think that only my grandmother thought that way. After she went senile. Turns out it also applies to 20-something guys.


    Deep-Fried Breaded Bacon

    I know this looks gourmet, and it's even kind of complex (dip the bacon in flour, then an egg wash, then panko crumbs, and fry in olive oil until golden brown), but trust me. One bite and you will understand that anybody can have a heart attack at any age.


    Saltines and Peanut Butter

    Because Everybody has peanut butter, but you need to put it on something, and you can't afford that fancy-schmancy Wonder Bread.


    Shove All The Leftovers In A Pan, Cover With Ketchup, Microwave.

    Because you'll be damned if you let that food go bad! It cost money!

  2. #2
    Heroic Warrior Lich Leech's Avatar
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    By the ancients!!!


    Lich Leech feedback thread

  3. #3
    Master of My Soul MOTU_Maniac's Avatar
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    Ramen Noodles helped me get through my Undergraduate and Graduate degrees (as did old stale pizza) so I am going to go with:

    Shove All The Leftovers In A Pan, Cover With Ketchup, Microwave.
    Out of the night that covers me,
    Black as the pit from pole to pole,
    I thank whatever gods may be
    For my unconquerable soul.

    It matters not how strait the gate,
    How charged with punishments the scroll,
    I am the master of my fate,
    I am the captain of my soul.

  4. #4
    Heroic Warrior mollusc herald's Avatar
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    One thing I do to make my Ramen less sad is to add Italian Seasoning (its mostly oregano & recently it was at Dollar General .50c for a shaker of it). It gives another option to the salt bomb packet. Its best with olive oil, but that undermines the cheapness of the ramen and Italian seasoning. Olive oil's pretty expensive.

    WalMart matches other grocery prices on produce in many places so if you bring your ads you can cobble a decent spaghetti (Mexican squash/zucchini not overcooked and quartered into a base of tomatoes and Hunts canned sauce) that can last you for about a week with ramen.
    Looking to buy or trade sealed M.U.S.C.L.E. 4-Packs. I can PM you pictures if you'd like to trade.

    There's a girl in the garden.
    What?
    In the garden, there is a girl!

  5. #5
    Heroic Warrior
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    I detest mouldy bread and Cheese.
    "These are the days of high adventure"

  6. #6
    Clown Prince of Darkness Benedict Judas Hel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ridureyu View Post
    What's The Most Depressing Bachelor Food?
    Green cherries:



    Green bananas:



    Chives:



    Washed down with sparkling lime juice:

    "Wheresoever on earth he dwells, man is prey to two weaknesses: the need to pray and the need to love."-Marquis de Sade

    "It is not by reasoning or by our understanding that we have received our religion; it is by external authority and command."-Michel De Montaigne

    Heretical Vintage Purist and Non-Fan Extraordinaire!

  7. #7
    Cobra Saboteur Firefly's Avatar
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    I used to think too many microwave dinners in my freezer when I was a bachelor, but that is pretty much the same case now.

  8. #8
    Heroic Warrior
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    Beer in cereal. This would be a red flag that you have hit Rock Bottom.
    AUDACIEUX ET TENACE

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