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Thread: Facebook Depression...

  1. #1
    Grammer Flunky Shredder's Avatar
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    Facebook Depression...

    I'd like to classify a new term. It's in the title ;o)...

    I don't know about anyone else, but all my friends have family's, great jobs, multiple kids. Some have even sickeningly known each other since high school and have never been apart.

    Meanwhile, I can't get my own act together. Dog died in 2004, 4 years of parents divorcing while living them them after that. Barely 5 months to recover, grandfather dies. I get about a years breather, then Hurricane Sandy hits and destroys the lower half of the shore house..

    Meanwhile, I see people enjoying life, taking glamorous trips... hanging out with each other...Meanwhile I'm stuck in a rut. It's hard to feel happy when someone posts a photo of them and their hubby happy and well adjusted in high school...especially when high school wasn't a great time for me either ;o)...
    Probably Tornado or lightning strike will happen next year ..

    Can't be the only one ;o).
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  2. #2
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    Patreek's Avatar
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    I actually read an article about this very thing. It talked about how people are more likely to post positive or excitinf things on facebook projecting a my life is great scenerio and then the reader os bombarded by this feeling of everyone is doing so well but im not snd it makes them feel worse
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  3. #3
    plastic vice Phil.Pastel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patreek View Post
    I actually read an article about this very thing. It talked about how people are more likely to post positive or excitinf things on facebook projecting a my life is great scenerio and then the reader os bombarded by this feeling of everyone is doing so well but im not snd it makes them feel worse

    Yeah, it should be called fakebook.
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  4. #4
    Heroic Warrior Dr Kain's Avatar
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    Yeah, all of my classmates for my Master's program got jobs last school year. In fact, most were hired by the schools they student taught at? You know what I did? Last summer, I applied to 314 positions and got nothing more than a few interviews. This summer? I applied to 397 positions and still got nothing but a few interviews.
    Can someone PM me the US number for Matty? I want to talk to someone who might has a clue of what is going on.

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  5. #5
    Heroic Warrior
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    I wouldn't let it bother you so much. Like the others mention, some people tend to put out their lives as being glamorous only because they are only trying to compensate for something. All smiles on the outside, yet crying on the inside.

    take for an example, an old schoolmate of mine. She was always trying to impress everybody, thinking that she was the next cyndi Crawford ( in her dreams) she came off as shallow and in turn no one seemed to like her. Flash foward 20 years and here she is on facebook doing the very same thing. Claiming that she's rich and she has it all together when I know the opposite is true.

    She constantly posts pictures of her at her family gatherings and everyone seems to be having a good time. When in reality that is one of the worst backbiting families I have ever known.

    So in closing don't take everything on facebook at face value. 9 out of 10 times its all a facade.

    on a side note I defriended this individual because I couldn't put up with all her posts.

  6. #6
    Master of Invisibility MOTU_Maniac's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patreek View Post
    I actually read an article about this very thing. It talked about how people are more likely to post positive or excitinf things on facebook projecting a my life is great scenerio and then the reader os bombarded by this feeling of everyone is doing so well but im not snd it makes them feel worse
    Quote Originally Posted by Phil.Pastel View Post
    Yeah, it should be called fakebook.
    I agree 100%.
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    Heroic Warrior byinfernoslight's Avatar
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    I used to get depressed about this. Then I started hiding the feeds of people who were really successful. Now when I go on Facebook it's just posts from people as unsuccessful at life as me! Makes me feel so much better about myself!

  8. #8
    Master of Invisibility MOTU_Maniac's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by byinfernoslight View Post
    I used to get depressed about this. Then I started hiding the feeds of people who were really successful. Now when I go on Facebook it's just posts from people as unsuccessful at life as me! Makes me feel so much better about myself!
    Hahaha. This made me chuckle.
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    Heroic Warrior wyldman11's Avatar
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    Yeah then you have the other end of the spectrum the ones who it seems nothing goes right for, who seem to be constantly after pity.
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    cow tools chrisbryan's Avatar
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    It's all in how you take things. My mom passed away, my wife lost her job(though she got it back) and my son has a brain tumor and is under going chemotherapy, but everyday I wake thankful. Thankful my mom isn't in pain. Thankful that my wife stayed home for a year, because if she hadn't lost her job I don't think we would have noticed the signs of my son's tumor. Most of all I am thankful for my son who when people ask him how he gets through chemo with very few side effects he looks them in the face and says "because I am a superhero".
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  11. #11
    HAAAAAAAAAPPYYYYYYYY..... Prince Adam's Dad's Avatar
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    Facebook is like the rest of life. If you try to gauge your happiness against the happiness of others, you're in for a bad time. Nobody is as blissful as they appear outwardly (and few are as genuinely miserable as they purport themselves to be, as wyldman mentioned).

    Find your own happiness and the happiness of others will be less offensive. I know that's not as easy as it sounds, but it's still the case.
    Sadly, you can't divorce emotion from a toyline built on nostalgia.


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  12. #12
    Heroic Warrior wyldman11's Avatar
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    Look at people in customer service who have to make it look like to every customer they are at least happy if not excited to help the customer out no matter how much of the jerk or badly the customer treats the employee. It isn't just facebook it's about people behave, many of us have learned to put up a decent enough front to at least get by. It's one of the reason I really like the song Demons by Imagine Dragons, behind every one's eyes there is something going on or has gone on but when you meet them face to face you wouldn't know that and most of us don't trust people we barely know with that information.

    Facebook allows people to keep the more shallow side of friendship going, the one where we all make ourselves happy and only keep the harder to deal with stuff out of the public. For everyone who got a job, how many are working 60 hours a week and their marriage is struggling? How many who just had the baby, that job they go on about is them being thankful the job can pay for the baby but they have to nom on ramen or are getting government assistance? I try to mix up the good and bad in my facebook posts, when I post but putting more negative stuff out there makes on vulnerable, which is sometimes the reason people only put positive stuff out there. When we make ourselves vulnerable to the world many will take that opportunity to make themselves feel better and either put you down more and not give an ounce of empathy.
    One Gum Drop to rule them all, One Gum Drop to find them,
    One Gum Drop to bring them all and in the sweetness bind them
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  13. #13
    Well that was dumb! Is-rael's Avatar
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  14. #14
    I love Mos Eisley Cantina BoShek's Avatar
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    Least favorite Facebook posts:
    "OMG we are having a baby!"
    "Even though I just got back from vacation I need another one."
    "Look at all the fun we had last night (without you)" -your "friends"
    "Look at our family! (Aren't we the best?)"
    "Look at are huge family gathering! (sucks your family is so small and you can't do this)."
    "I've been single for a whole two weeks now and I am so lonely!"
    "I hate being single. I need to find someone." -person who rejected you
    "I miss my BFF!" "Thanks BFF." "Had a great time with my BFF." posted to several different people
    "I am having the worst day ever/I hate my life/I need a girlfriend/boyfriend (so feel sorry for me)."
    "The weather here is so nice!"
    "We're here! (first vacation photo)"
    "Look, my kid won (some sort of award or achievement)."
    "RIP Spot (or Rex or Socks or Whiskers or whatever the animal's nam was)."
    "Happy Anniversary to (parents, older people)."
    "Countdown to vacation ..."
    "TGIF!"
    "My car broke down (again feel sorry for me)."
    "My (significant other) is the best ever at everything."
    "Currently in (some far off exciting location)."
    "People keep stealing my pictures and pretending they are me."
    "I need help on FarmVille."
    "I need coffee."
    "I am tired and need to go to sleep."
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    Heroic Warrior Dr Kain's Avatar
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    Thanks to facebook, I know what everyone's bathrooms look like from their mirrors.

    I also cannot wait to see the faces of some kids as they come across pictures of their grand parents by accident in the future.
    Can someone PM me the US number for Matty? I want to talk to someone who might has a clue of what is going on.

    Evil will always triumph because good is dumb.

  16. #16
    plastic vice Phil.Pastel's Avatar
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    Everyone I know (well) who is on there is fake. One of my sisters is on there and uses it to pretend that she is everyone's friend -- without actually being their friend. I immediately lose a little respect for anyone upon hearing they are fakebook users (if I had any to lose, that is).
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  17. #17
    Mistress of the Whip! Divia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dr Kain View Post
    Yeah, all of my classmates for my Master's program got jobs last school year. In fact, most were hired by the schools they student taught at? You know what I did? Last summer, I applied to 314 positions and got nothing more than a few interviews. This summer? I applied to 397 positions and still got nothing but a few interviews.
    Where do you live and what type of position are you trying to find? I know here history and english are the two hardest subjects to find jobs in.

    As for facebook. I still hate the posts of people saying "I love my husband he's my best friend" and then they gush. I dunno why it just irritates me. I was never a fan of overly romantic stuff and I'm still not. I've hidden a few people because they were baby crazy or they would post pics of abused animals saying don't do this. (yeah, thanks for the tip).

    For me I post random crap. And while I did go on vacation and just got back mine was pics of random junk.

    I don't post super personal stuff. People had no idea I was dating someone for a year. And when a huge life event happened to me I didn't post it cause I thought that a facebook post would cheapen it.

    It is hard to see people saying how great their lives are all the time when you are in the dumps. But I agree with others that I think they just say those things to keep up a front. No one's life is that perfect.
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  18. #18
    Grammer Flunky Shredder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BoShek View Post
    Least favorite Facebook posts:
    "I hate being single. I need to find someone." -person who rejected you
    "I am having the worst day ever/I hate my life/I need a girlfriend/boyfriend (so feel sorry for me)."
    "
    you'd hate mine although I try to balance it all out with snarky observations on life .

    I wouldn't feel so bad if there was SOME small bright spot to look forward to.. not so much...hence, why I get grumpy seeing other people's constantly happy posts

    meanwhile, my father flies to Colorado for $3,000's to help the girlfriends messed up daughter hang photos and set up a new house, while I can't get him to come with my as company to head out to a store that's 20 minutes away.
    Yeah..sometimes I think it's easier just to be alone..if it wasn't so boring :o).
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    Always Hawthorn Viceroy's Avatar
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    Go read the news about the poverty in some distant country and you will think your own problems don't appear quite as bad.

  20. #20
    Heroic Warrior Dr Kain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Divia View Post
    Where do you live and what type of position are you trying to find? I know here history and english are the two hardest subjects to find jobs in..
    Elementary (anything K-6) and I live in CO, the 49th worst state to be a teacher (my salary when I get a full time teaching job will be $35K a year). Nevertheless, what was the point of getting a Master's degree and student loans when I can't even use the degree to pay off the loans?
    Can someone PM me the US number for Matty? I want to talk to someone who might has a clue of what is going on.

    Evil will always triumph because good is dumb.

  21. #21
    Heroic Warrior Soulgem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prince Adam's Dad View Post
    Facebook is like the rest of life. If you try to gauge your happiness against the happiness of others, you're in for a bad time. Nobody is as blissful as they appear outwardly (and few are as genuinely miserable as they purport themselves to be, as wyldman mentioned).

    Find your own happiness and the happiness of others will be less offensive. I know that's not as easy as it sounds, but it's still the case.
    Wise words!

    Also, no one really has thousand friends.
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  22. #22
    Supreme Fudge Dynamo of Eternia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Divia View Post
    For me I post random crap.

    I don't post super personal stuff.
    I'm pretty much the same way. I'll post either very random stuff (references to TV shows, movies, etc, the occasional youtube video).

    Sometimes I may post about something a bit frustrating like when I was having issues with my AT&T internet access and the like. Sometimes I'll post a more positive anecdote. I try to keep it at least mildly entertaining/interesting if possible. I try not to post overly boring, mundane things like, "I'm eating a turkey sandwich right now." I've never understood announcing every stupid little thing that one does. Nor do I get the whole deal of "checking in" at locations. I have no desire to do that. You may as well just announce to the world, "I'm not at home! Please come rob my house!"

    I can't say that anyone that I'm friends with on FB only posts overly positive things to the point where it becomes obnoxious. It's typically a reasonable mix of daily triumphs and frustrations. Some posts I can do without, but I'm sure someone else is enjoying those posts, and I'm sure my own posts probably get mixed reactions. So it is what it is.

    I get more annoyed when people get too political. It's one thing to make the occasional comment, which is all that most people on my friends list ever do. But I do have one relative on FB who CONSTANTLY posts overly political crap. I won't go deep into that subject since this isn't the Tar Swamp, but I often don't agree with her, and even when I do, her manner of posting these things is such that there has to be someone on her rather extensive friends list that is getting annoyed and/or offended by each of these posts. I actually set it so that her posts don't show up in my news feed. Now I have to go to her page to see anything that she posts. It's unfortunate because I do like to occasionally see how her family is doing, but it's always intermixed with overly political posts.
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  23. #23
    Heroic Warrior H.A.L.9000's Avatar
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    just delete yer fb account..ya dont need one.but people FEEl they need one.... i have yet to sign up.. but gotta say prob never will.. i talk to those i can to keep in touch with..
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  24. #24
    Heroic Warrior Ridureyu's Avatar
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    Every time I post something personal on Facebook, one of two relatives of mine misinterpret it badly and start spreading nasty rumors, or start a fight over politics, or accuse my Dad of something. It's like since Mom died, everybody just got weird. So pretty much I keep things short, to the point, pretty happy without too deep... and I post a lot of toy-related stuff, because it's safe.

  25. #25
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    Dr. KAIN are you willing to relocate? My good friend moved to texas and found a positionike that within weeks.
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