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Thread: Catslyn's Shorties

  1. #51
    Heroic Warrior Masamune's Avatar
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    Nothing is too taboo for you is it Catsy?
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandman View Post
    I hate you. So much.

    In regards to my speculation on who Teela's real father is.

  2. #52
    catslyn
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    Quote Originally Posted by Masamune
    Nothing is too taboo for you is it Catsy?
    Which story is that a reference too?

  3. #53
    Heroic Warrior Masamune's Avatar
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    More of a general statement to anything you've entered in this thread. Except for the last part which I had read in another thread.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandman View Post
    I hate you. So much.

    In regards to my speculation on who Teela's real father is.

  4. #54
    Our Lady of Perverse Fic eideann's Avatar
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    More insanity, please. I haven't had my weekly creep-out in ages.
    Fred is a blind stoat.

    There is no future in the past, so forget this tomorrow.

    One-third of the Triumverate of Evil.
    One-half of Obvious Kidnappers, Ink
    Founding member of the 60-inch Club
    Founding Member of the CHICKS OF FANFIC.

  5. #55
    kjv1611
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyra
    OH MY GOSH!!! ROFL!!! Poor Adam!!!

    I actually enjoyed reding this!

    ROFL!!! This is like Twilight Zone or something.

    But...wouldn't "Adam" have noticed that the, um, plumbing wasn't quite right?

  6. #56
    kjv1611
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    Quote Originally Posted by Classic Cowboy
    what should happen next in that one:

    Adam and Teela walk in to the dinning hall holding hands early one morning, both with broad smiles. Duncan and Randor look at them with a mix of seriousness and nervousness.

    "Adam Teela there's something you should both know." Randor said nervously.

    "You see, kids, you're sort of ... well your half brother and sister." Duncan forced out.

    "What?!?" Adam exclaimed, before paling, "Couldn't ... you have told us before last night?"

    "Why?" Randor asked cocking his head to the side. "What happened last night?"

    Teela sat down roughly, "I think I'm going to be sick ..."

    LOL, I love it Cats, keep it up!
    Yeah but if Duncan isn't Teela's real father (like in classic MOTU), there's really no problem...

    Still...that's just plain weird!

  7. #57
    catslyn
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    LIFE SUCKS! Now tell me something I don't know.

    Hello Folks,

    This post appears on all my stories, so if you read this one, you don’t need to read the other ones.

    I know many of you have been waiting for story updates that haven’t come yet, so I wanted to let you know what’s going on.

    Frankly, my life for the last 18 months, minus a few exceptions, has been hell.

    I was a “late in life” child, and my parents, who are retired and who live in a home next door to mine have been ill on and off for almost two years.

    My dad was finally diagnosed with prostate cancer a year ago, treated and beat it. Within days of being told that he was cancer free, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was treated, and we recently were told that all her cancer seems to be gone. Over the last two weeks, my father was tested for a variety of problems because he’s been in a lot of pain. All of his tests came back showing no cancer or other problems, so we figured he was having really bad indigestion or something.

    Now, today, my father was hospitalized, tested and suddenly diagnosed with colon cancer. We don’t know yet if it has spread beyond that. He’s going in for surgery tomorrow morning.

    Meanwhile, during all of this, the IRS somehow decided that my family owed them several thousand dollars (which turned out NOT to be true), our water well (we live in the country) has been contaminated and had to be cleaned several times in the last year and it is still having problems, the government decided that we owed back property taxes (which also turned out not to be true) and the list of problems continues.

    I know we joke about Adam getting beaten up on in everyone’s stories and not being able to cut a break. But, frankly, lately, I’m the one who doesn’t seem to be able to cut a break. Writing the He-Man comic is the only damn thing that has gone right in the last 18 months.

    *Catslyn sighs.

    Anyway, I am bloody well going to try and write and post fanfic, because it’s one of the only things keeping me sane lately. Just, please, know that my stories are not forgotten, they are not abandoned, and they WILL be continued and finished. And there will be sequels. And there will be more stories.

    I just… with the way my life is going, I can’t make promised anymore for dates or deadlines for updates. I’m sorry. I hate waiting for updates from the writer’s I love, and I don’t want anyone to stop reading my stuff, but please try and be patient. The next week is going to be pretty rough for me and mine.

    Anyway, thanks for your feedback, stay tuned in because updates ARE coming, and I hope everyone has a great Fourth of July.

  8. #58
    Heroic Warrior Masamune's Avatar
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    Take all the time you need Cats. Take a holiday even. After all that I'd say it's required at least. I hope the future at least should prove kinder.

    Lots of love from all your fans.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandman View Post
    I hate you. So much.

    In regards to my speculation on who Teela's real father is.

  9. #59
    Coe*is+ Jaster's Avatar
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    Bumpity-bump

  10. #60
    Our Lady of Perverse Fic eideann's Avatar
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    I don't believe I'm saying this, given what these stories are like, but . . .

    More please!!
    Fred is a blind stoat.

    There is no future in the past, so forget this tomorrow.

    One-third of the Triumverate of Evil.
    One-half of Obvious Kidnappers, Ink
    Founding member of the 60-inch Club
    Founding Member of the CHICKS OF FANFIC.

  11. #61
    Rabid_Squirrel
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    SHORTIES DESERVE LOVE TOO!!
    *bursts into tears...*
    Sniffle
    ...
    Okay... I feel better now...

  12. #62
    Heroic Warrior Masamune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by eideann
    I don't believe I'm saying this, given what these stories are like, but . . .

    More please!!
    What? I'm really enjoying these short bursts of insanity. Mind you for someone who reads your fics then these should be a stroll in the park.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandman View Post
    I hate you. So much.

    In regards to my speculation on who Teela's real father is.

  13. #63
    Heroic Warrior LadyNiko's Avatar
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    bumping for the ill one....

  14. #64
    Calliope
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    I'm loving the variety here. But "Stolen" is just plain wrong.
    (LOL)
    Last edited by Calliope; March 2, 2005 at 12:32am.

  15. #65
    catslyn
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    The Muse

    Hi folks,
    Here's a new shortie for your enjoyment.
    Catslyn

    ***
    Holding the torch high before him, He-Man brushed away the cobwebs that shrouded the small cave entrance. The journey to the summit of Dark Mountain had been a long and arduous one, and strong though he was, his heart pounded wildly in his chest as he peered into the shadowed gloom.

    Pushing through the cobwebs, he made his way deeper into the cave, his labored breathing the only sound in that awesome stillness. He seemed to walk for hours, passing nothing larger than a stoat. But then, just when he’d begun to doubt the veracity of the old folk tales, a dim light shone up from the depths. He followed it.

    The narrow passage opened abruptly into a vaulted chambers with walls that glimmered like ice melting in the noonday sun. In the center of the chamber, upon a raised dais, stood a woman, short of stature and erect of carriage. About her shrouded form hung many blades – long knives, short swords and needle-sharp daggers caught the glimmer from the walls and reflected it back at him. Her face was hooded, her chin lowered almost to her breast as she gazed into the living ball of flame held in her cupped hands.

    “Calliope...” he whispered, hardly daring to speak at all.

    With a sigh, she lifted her gaze to meet his, and He-Man saw that her eyes were a deep and vibrant yellow, the yellow of cloudy topaz and faded linen. He shivered beneath their harsh gaze.

    “I know why you have come,” she said, “and you’re wasting your time. Worse, you’re wasting mine, as well.”

    “Oh great muse, please, do not turn me away,” he pleaded, dropping to his knees before her. “My need is dire. Can you answer not a single question? Can you not put my mind at ease? I’ve come so far to find you.”

    Calliope dropped her hands to her sides, and the flame vanished, folding in upon itself. “You won’t like my answers, boy.”

    “I must know! Please!”

    “On your head be it then.” A tendril of fine, ashen hair fell across her brow and she blew it absently back into place with a puff of breath. “Ask your question.”

    He swallowed, his throat gone suddenly dry. “Oh great muse, Calliope, will— will my family ever know the truth? Will those who love me ever accept who I really am?”

    The muse snorted. “Technically, that's two questions, but I’ll answer them both since the answers the same.”

    “Yes?” he asked, leaning forward on his knees, gazing avidly up into her eyes.

    “I don’t know.”

    He blinked. “What?”

    She shrugged. “I don’t know, kiddo.”

    He-Man leapt to his feet, his emotions roiling within him, torn between fury, disbelief and despair. “But, you are the author of all our fate! How can you not know?!”

    “That part of the story hasn’t been written yet, and I haven’t had the outline beta-read yet.”

    He-Man gaped at her. “Outline?”

    “I told you that you wouldn’t like the answer.” Pulling a knife from her belt, she poked it in his general direction. “Now git! You still have three chapters you haven’t finished yet, and my tea kettle should be done heating by now.”

    “But, Calliope!”

    “Do you want to wind up married to Evil-Lyn and raising Beastman’s illegitimate offspring?”

    “Ummm… no,” he stuttered, backing slowly away.

    “Then never make a muse write without her tea.” She poked him with the tip of her knife. “Oh, and quit peeking down Teela’s cleavage. It’s not very hero-like.”

    He-Man gasped as he felt all the blood drain from his face. Then, pivoting on his heel, he raced from the muse’s presence. His mother had warned him not to come. Next time, he’d listen.

  16. #66
    Calliope
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    Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!

    Ah, Catslyn. I knew I loved ya!

  17. #67
    Heroic Warrior LadyNiko's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by catslyn
    Hi folks,
    Here's a new shortie for your enjoyment.
    Catslyn
    And we all know what that means - she's gone off the deep end!

    Quote Originally Posted by catslyn
    “Then never make a muse write without her tea.” She poked him with the tip of her knife. “Oh, and quit peeking down Teela’s cleavage. It’s not very hero-like.”

    He-Man gasped as he felt all the blood drain from his face. Then, pivoting on his heel, he raced from the muse’s presence. His mother had warned him not to come. Next time, he’d listen.
    bwahahahahahahahaha!!!

    If I didn't start coughing any time I tried to laugh out loud, I would have been howling out loud w/ laughter...

    So.... this will have to do:

  18. #68
    Heroic Warrior Masamune's Avatar
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    HAHAHAHA! This thread is always worth a laugh.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandman View Post
    I hate you. So much.

    In regards to my speculation on who Teela's real father is.

  19. #69
    Heroic Warrior J-Sun's Avatar
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    I'm really enjoying these shorties of yours catslyn!

    They are Brilliant!




    .
    Check out my Custom Figures! http://www.jsunscustoms.com

  20. #70
    Fusion Blaster
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    hehehe. That was some brilliance.


    Good to see stuff like this still around.

  21. #71
    catslyn
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    Life After the Fact

    Hello all!

    Here is a new Shortie for you called, Life After the Fact. Enjoy!

    ***

    LIFE AFTER THE FACT



    He-Man stood quietly at the base of the stairs leading up to the Sorceress’ throne, waiting for her to acknowledge his presence. Her head was bowed and her eyes were closed… as they had been for the last hour or more. He was getting very tired of waiting, but it was unwise to interrupt her when she was having one of her visions.

    Taking a deep breath, He-Man shifted his weight from foot to foot. Then, just when he was beginning to think he should just leave, he heard it.

    Snoring.

    “You have got to be kidding me,” he muttered. He climbed up the stairs, hopping two steps at a time. Stopping before the Sorceress, he leaned down and peered beneath her hood. Her mouth hung open, and a drop of drool had formed at the corner of her mouth. And she was definitely, unmistakably, snoring. He tapped her on the arm, and then jumped back, prepared for her to attack him in her confusion.

    Nothing happened.

    Rolling his eyes, Adam poked her again, quite a bit harder this time.

    Her head snapped up, her eyes glowing. “Can’t you see I’m trying to take a nap here?” the Sorceress grumbled, glaring at him without a hint of warmth.

    “But I need to talk to you.”

    She sighed gustily. “And?”

    “I’m worried,” he said, striking his most heroic pose and trying to look confident despite the urge to run and hide from her annoyance. “Skeletor hasn’t attacked anyone in more than a year. Something isn’t right. Do you know why—”

    “Go ask him,” she said, standing up and walking past him.

    “What?”

    “You heard me. Go ask him what he’s up to if you’re so worried about it.”

    “But – ”

    “I’m going to bed. Lock the drawbridge on your way out.”

    He-Man gaped after her, blinking hard. He should have stayed at home. But at least her suggestion was a reasonable one. After all, what could it hurt to ask? Even if Skeletor lied to him, which he undoubtedly would, he’d still learn something. Next stop, Snake Mountain.

    ***

    He-Man approached Snake Mountain warily, prepared to be attacked at any moment. But no attack was forthcoming. Instead, he found himself walking through empty hallways, listening to the echo of his own footsteps.

    At last, he heard the sound of voices coming from a room up ahead. He approached slowly, and peered around the edge of the open door. Trap Jaw, Tri-Klops and TuBadd were all sitting around a table. Food was scattered across the surface of the table, and each of the henchmen held a hand of cards. Tri-Klops had his back to He-Man, but Trap Jaw looked right at him without even blinking.

    Raising an eyebrow, He-Man cleared his throat noisily.

    “Yeah?” Tri-Klops called, without bothering to look and see who it was.

    “Ummm, is Skeletor here?”

    “Try the basement. There’s a hot-spring there that’s he’s using as a hot tub.”

    He-Man’s eyes widened. “Ooookay. Thanks.”

    Trap Jaw, catching his look of disbelief, shrugged, looking mildly amused, and then returned his gaze to his hand of cards. Not certain that he believed in their nonchalance, He-Man walked backwards the rest of the way down the hallway, watching for pursuit, but none came.

    Eventually he found his way to the chambers that Tri-Klops had spoken of. Steam billowed out the doors, and He-Man swatted it away from his face as he entered the room. Vaguely, through the swirling vapor, he could see the edge of a pool and form reclining within. “All right, Skeletor, what are you – ” He-Man broke off with a gasp as he came face to shins with the person in the pool. It wasn’t Skeletor.

    “Excuse me, but I hardly think I look like him,” the woman said, smiling dangerously. She was beautiful, with dark lustrous blue skin and obsidian eyes and hair. She was also completely naked. “Still,” she went on, “I’m willing to forgive your little mistake. Why don’t you climb on in, Muscles? We could have a real good time.”

    Babbling incoherently, he fled. As he raced down the hall, he heard her calling after him, “Try the kitchens!”

    ***

    His left hand was covered in blood, red and dripping from his fingers onto the stone of table. In his right hand Skeletor held a wicked looking knife. He-Man gulped as he crept up behind the alchemist. What had he done? What had he… sacrificed? As silently as he could, He-Man drew his sword. The metal made only a soft susurrus as it left the scabbard. He took a step… another… another… and then slowly raised the sword over his head.

    “Do you want one?” Skeletor asked, turning around and looking He-Man up and down. Then, to he snorted and said, “Put the sword down. I flatly refuse to fight today.”

    Once again, He-man found himself feeling like he’d missed the boat, the beach and the entire ocean. But he lowered his sword all the same. “Ummm, why not, if I may ask?”
    “No point,” Skeletor said, shrugging as he turned back to the table. “Now, do you want a sandwich or not?”

    He-Man stepped closer and saw that the table in front of Skeletor was littered with sandwich making – turkey, various cheeses, three different types of bread, assorted jars filled with unidentifiable spreads and one bowl of extremely bloody roast beef. “Ummm, sure, but make mine a turkey sandwich,” He-Man said, barely speaking above a whisper in his confusion. “And, umm, wash your hands first.”

    “Gripe, gripe, gripe. Have a seat.” Skeletor jerked his head… skull… whatever… toward an enormous stone table and with skull-topped chairs surrounding it. With nothing better to do, He-Man sat.

    Five minutes later, they were sitting across from each other, eating sandwiches, munching on pork rinds and gulping down ale faster than an invisible servant could pour it. They ate in surprisingly companionable silence, the quiet broken only by the sounds of their chewing and the glug glug glug of the frequently filled tankards.

    When he’d finished the last of his remarkably good sandwich, He-Man leaned his elbows on the table and looked at Skeletor speculatively. “So,” he said,” trying to ignore the queasy feeling he got watching blood dribble down Skeletor’s chin, “you still haven’t answered my question. Why no fighting? You’ve been inactive for months. Are you sick or something?”

    The alchemist swallowed his mouthful, drained his tankard once more, and then belched spectacularly. “What the point in fighting?”

    “But don’t you want to defeat me in a contest of strength and skill and then rule over Eternia for the rest of eternity?”

    “I did,” Skeletor said, nodding sadly. “But what’s the point now? It’s not like anyone’s watching us anymore. Beating you without an audience just wouldn’t be the same. Besides – ” The alchemist broke off at the sound of approaching footsteps.

    He-Man’s eyes widened as Evil-Lyn entered the room. The witch had forsaken her usual head-turning get up for a faded blue bathrobe and fuzzy pink slippers in the shape of Beastman’s head. She wore no make-up and her hair was covered by what He-Man could only assume was some kind of hairnet. Incongruously, she was carrying her staff.

    “You better have left some of the turkey for me,” she groused as she marched over to the icebox where Skeletor had stored all of the sandwich fixings. Pointing her staff at the icebox, Evil-Lyn mumbled something under her breath and a moment later a sandwich appeared in her hand. As she stomped away, she called back at them, “If you two are going to sit around drinking all day, you can bloody well go out and get some more groceries. I need chocolate and I need it now!”

    He-Man gulped and nodded, though she couldn’t see him. Skeletor sighed. “I will be very glad when her cycle is over. Did you know that among her people, menstruation lasts for 5 weeks at a time?” He-Man’s eyes widened to the point of pain and he found himself unable to breath for a moment.

    “Are we safe here?” he asked apprehensively.

    Skeletor shrugged. “She’ll probably just take her annoyance out on Tri-Klops and Beastman. “That’s what she usually does.”

    He-man sighed in relief. “So, uh, I get why you don’t want to fight without the audience, but don’t you still want to rule the world?”

    Skeletor rolled his eyes and stood up abruptly. Placing his hands firmly on the edge of the table, he leaned in He-Man’s direction, not quite looming. “Are you whacked? Aren’t you paying any attention to what’s happening beyond the walls of Grayskull? The world is falling apart! I wanted to rule a paradise! Not this ball of mud and misery! Unemployment is sky high, property values are dropping like stones and most of the animals have gone into an indefinite hibernation. What’s the point? This place won’t be worth squat until we get a new show, and I just pray to the Gods that it’s not set in some futuristic outer space goofball land!”

    “I, uh, see your point,” He-Man said, now more thoroughly depressed than he’d ever been in his life. “So what do we do in the meantime?”

    Skeletor laughed. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m going to take the rest of the pork rinds and ale and go watch some Star Trek DVDs. Uhura is seriously hot. Want to join me?”

    He-Man sighed. “As long as you share the pork rinds,” he said, rising from his chair and shuffling after his arch-enemy. Sometimes, life just sucked.

  22. #72
    Heroic Warrior LadyNiko's Avatar
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    Okay, when Cats said she was posting a shortie, I should have known better.............

    Warped & twisted as usual - good to have you back in the fold!

  23. #73
    Etherian 626 gnewton34's Avatar
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    HAHA! That was funny!
    Haikus are easy
    But sometimes they don't make sense
    Refrigerator

    "If I were a vegetable I'd be a radish because I'm only kind of rad."

  24. #74
    Calliope
    Guest

    Hmmmm...


    Ah how I have missed your posts.
    (pauses to Reflect)
    Hey! Even Skeletor has a fandom!

  25. #75
    Heroic Warrior Masamune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by catslyn
    Taking a deep breath, He-Man shifted his weight from foot to foot. Then, just when he was beginning to think he should just leave, he heard it.

    Snoring.
    *snicker* HAHAHAHA.

    Quote Originally Posted by catslyn
    I need chocolate and I need it now!
    Heh heh. Typical.

    I can't get enough of these sordid stories. Thanks Cats.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandman View Post
    I hate you. So much.

    In regards to my speculation on who Teela's real father is.

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