Greetings
G-fans!
Gorpo here, back with another round of your ex-diddly-ellent
questions. These questions are some of the finest I've ever...eh,
let's just do this thing, okay?
Hey Gorpo,
What the hell is up with Stratos' voice on the new series?
He sounds like Sean Connery!
Prince Adams
Dear PA,
After taking a good look at Stratos, I can see a slight resemblance
between Sir James Bond and the Winged One...perhaps Stratos
IS Sean Connery!
Gorpo, whats up? First off, hypothetically speaking, if Battlecat
from the old 80's cartoon fought Battlecat from the new cartoons,
who would win? Secondly, can you hook me up with Teela or
better yet, the Sorceress?
Sincerely,
Gwildor
Dear G,
I've never been able to figure out those X vs. X stories...for
instance, I've often been asked whether I would beat my good
friend Gandalf in a fight. How should I know? We have incompatible
schools of magic. But if you're one of those compulsive types
who just has to bet, well, I don't know...um...'00s Battlecat.
As for your second question, sorry, you'll have to make the
trips to the bar yourself...
Dear Gorpo,
I have a simple question about the classic toy line. After
viewing many pictures over the years, I have yet to notice
what the difference is between Faker I and Faker II, other
than packaging. Price guides and web sites like this one separate
them as two different figures. Is there anything else that
I might be missing? Please offer me your words of wisdom on
this matter.
Thanks,
Toadus Rexicus
Dear TR,
I get a lot of questions like this, and I'd just like to say:
this is more of a humor/advice column than a Question and
Answer session. The best source of information for questions
like these is undoubtedly the He-Man.org
forums, where you will find friendly people willing to
offer their expert knowledge on all matters related to the
toys, cartoons and comics of MOTU history.
Dear Gorpo,
Why does He-Man wear his mink underpants with the fur on the
outside?
Doesn't he know that they feel so much nicer when the fur
is on the inside?
Mmm, warm 'n' fuzzy!
With all due respect,
Negaduck
Dear N,
I've mentioned this to He-Man countless times, but he says
it's the style. Slave to fashion, I guess.
Your
Majesty, Gorpo- Rightful ruler of all the Cosmos,
Here on the planet Earth in my home country of the United
States of America (yea I KNOW it should be under your mighty
rule) we have elected a President who cares little for the
protection of our enviroment, and believes that to deal with
global warming we will simply adopt a policy of adapting our
society to a warmer climate. My question for you is twofold;
first. how the the Eternians deal with enviromental issues,
especally when He-Man and the so called "Masters of the
Universe" are running rampant fighting Skeletor's forces
and causing all sorts of damage? Second, when can you replace
Geroge W. Bush and his barbaric policies?
Jake
Dear J,
Well, Eternia is in a bit of a different situation, you see.
It's more sparsely populated than Earth - we've got thousands
of miles of jungles and forests and not a human habitation
in sight. Simply put, the damage caused by He-Man and Skeletor
just doesn't make much of a dent on our environment - except,
of course, that time when Skeletor sent all that volcanco
ash spewing into the sky. THAT sucked.
As for your second question, you might start by dealing with
this
little problem.
Oh, Mighty Gorpo, I seek your supreme wisdom. You see, theres
this He-Man board that i`ve been registered at for quite a
bit, but I'm too nervous to post there, meanwhile I`ve seen
how the posters there act, and they`ve
become like idols to me. So now I WANT to post there, but
I just can't bring myself to post there out of fear that I
will embarass myself. Do you have any advice for me Oh, Mighty
Gorpo?
Sincerely, Impy
PS. You Rule, oh Mighty Gorpo, please to not inflict your
painful, painful, painful wrath upon me.
Dear I,
Are you really that worried about being embarassed? It's an
anonymous message board - no one will ever know who you REALLY
are (unless you tell them). So go for it! You've got nothing
to lose...
To Gorpo,
I couldn't help but eavesdrop into your publicly accessible
service that you say was created for your redemption of past
mishaps "the chicken incident"? Now Gorpo, is anyone
in this world perfect? I think not. I have my own faults,
which I overcame because of who I am today. I can sense a
sheer layer of envy for your brother, whom is referred to
by my master as "The Jester", for they are not happily
acquainted. Orko isn't exactly perfect either. Ask him about
the Tar Swamp incident. Do you really HATE the Solstice holiday?
Why can't Skeletor hug children? We demonic types can show
compassion too, you know. The only reason that Skeletor is
seen as the "enemy" (I love quotation marks!) is
because the legions of Eternos and Grayskull were too quick
to oppose him. Yes, I may be demonic, but it doesn't mean
that I can't cry during a sad matinee, or read an issue of
"Eternian House and Garden". There is more to you
than you think, Gorpo. Stop giving everyone else the credit.
Best Regards,
Scareglow
Dear SG,
Are you ACTUALLY trying to boost me up? BAH! I am
a thousand times your superior, you fleshless fool! If I choose
to remain aloof and neutral from the Eternian conflicts, that
is MY business, but don't try to draw me in with
your claims of Skeletor's moral ambiguity.
Me? Jealous of ORKO?! Surely you...jest.
But I did enjoy letting the entire world see that you cry
during matinees...
Well, that's it for this month, folks. Keep sending
those questions to gorpo@he-man.org
and I'll keep answering them. Until then, Cthulhu ftaghn!
